My Exposed Cerebrum

Mist

2010-07-25T01:35:00.000-07:00

I heard laughter. Roars of laughter. Laughter so pure, so cruel, and so enchanting. It vibrated the world within me. Intimidated me. Amused me. And I fell.

I felt the wind hit my face. Felt my stomach getting attracted to the physical force of gravity. Felt my entire body wanting to part away from me. I felt fear.

The sudden blow, and fear made me realize how much I wanted this to happen. Then I felt blankness. A blankness so silent, that it hurt my senses. My head felt shallow. I felt a deep respect for myself. Now I was sad. I felt sorrow flood within me. I wanted to scream and cry.

Then the memories poured in. Too many of them. They brought to my mind an immense joy. Joy of having been there, once upon a time. Happiness. I almost laughed. I felt love. I felt bliss. I felt peace. Calmness.

This lead me to remain at a constant state of longing. A longing for this maze of emotions to end. The concoction confused me. I experienced a deep sinking feeling. Then it hit me. And then it ended. And then there was blankness, yet again.

Out of My Shoes

2010-05-11T09:25:00.000-07:00

THE POSSESSION

I stepped in. I had to droop and shrink myself a little, but I did, finally step into his mind. I felt a pinch of nausea. As I felt him relax his muscles, I started feeling light headed. Gradually I was adjusting to his fragile build. Now, I was him. Maybe not forever, but at that moment, I owned his mind. I was his soul. The soul of a ten year old boy, whose face had then acquired a troubled look, by default. I had possessed him. It was an attempt that I had made, to read his mind.

THE BOY

He felt dizzy. His head seemed like someone was inside it, drumming on his skull and brain. His ears throbbed. His left hand hurt again. 'No, I can't feel weak now. I have to catch the train', he thought. 'Why did I have to ride my cycle so fast? Why didn't I see the stone? Why did I have to break my hand? I don't like myself. My parents are annoyed with me. The whole village thinks I'm an irresponsible son. Father has to work double the time to earn money for my treatment', thought one side of his mind.
'It has been a year since I broke my hand. When will I get to study again? I love school. I love science. Father needs me. Grandma needs my help at home. Father has to send Mother, money. Someday I will become a doctor and make sure nobody breaks their bones. I don't want anyone to suffer like me', thought his other side.

He got into the train, after waiting thirty minutes for it, in the hot sun. He hadn't eaten anything the day before. He was serving his grandma. It took him more time, because he could use only his right hand. His father was always busy at work. Sometimes he felt proud, for being able to help his father. It made him feel less guilty.

Taking short and fast steps, he made his way to the clinic. A doctor had suggested he get treatment from a Physiotherapist. He hated them. They moved his broken hand, pulled it and stretched it in different angles. It hurt a lot. So much, that he thought chopping his hand off would be less painful.
He walked into the clinic. The Physiotherapist greeted him. He didn't return the greeting. He was scared. He wondered how much pain he would have to feel today. Silently, he went and lied down on the treatment bed.

A lady entered his cabin. She was going to pull his hand today. It was her turn now. She smiled at him. He feared any sort of eye contact. She then held his left hand, and started the treatment. He winced. It hurt too much, but it was lesser than the day before. Tears rolled down his cheeks. He told himself, 'It's going to be okay. Some more time, and the pain will be gone. I can go back to school then. Father will be proud of me.' After tolerating thirty minutes of extreme pain, he was free to go. Surprisingly, he was able to move his hand better.
He will come again tomorrow, traveling for an hour in the train, and let the Physiotherapist hurt him. He will take the pain. 'Someday, I will be able to move my left hand properly', he told himself.

ME

I forced myself out of his mind. I couldn't stay there any longer. Not because I felt sad for him, but because I was ashamed of myself. I felt inferior. I wished I was as brave as that ten year old boy. I wished I had the sense of responsibility like he did. I wished I had his impregnable optimism. I wished I could have the strength to feel the pain that he experienced everyday, and the desire and hope, to live a life, that mattered.

A Conversation

2010-03-06T23:40:00.000-08:00

Venue: Sabari Express
Time: 11.00 pm
Among the snores of the smiling Malayalees and the lazy Telugus, three girls lay awake, drenched in lunacy and haphazard excitement. The two 12 year olds lay awake on the topmost berth. The 20 year old lay on the middle berth, listening to the 12 year olds' conversation, and enthusiastically trying to participate in it.

First 12 year old: I wish there was more light in this train. Why can't someone leave the tube lights on? I can't even see my hands properly!

Second 12 year old: Yeah I know! I wish we at least had happydent with us. We could have lit the train with our smiles. What do you say Didi?

20 year old (giggling with amusement): Oh yeah! Why didn't we buy any Happydent? It would have been so useful! I could have even read the book I got along with me.

First 12 year old: Oh yeah! I don't even want to sleep. I'm bored now. Didi, let's talk about how we look right now.

20 year old (surprised): How we look as in?

First 12 year old: I'll tell you how and what your face looks like right now, in the dark. And you tell me the same.

20 year old (hesitatingly): Okay..

First 12 year old: Okay, so, right now, your eyes look huge. Your eyebrows look thin, and your face looks pale. Didi, smile for me once, showing your teeth.

The 20 year old, does as she is told.

First 12 year old: Okay, thanks. So now, the whites in your eyes are whiter than your white teeth. Now your turn.

The 20 year old couldn't help laughing.

20 year old (trying to be very observant): Hmmm, your face looks like one of those dwarfs in Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

The first 12 year old giggles and nods. The second 12 year old, who was silent all this while, laughs.

Second 12 year old (suddenly): I can melt icebergs with Happydent!

Both the 20 year old and the other 12 year old burst out laughing.

20 year old (trying to be smart): But then, the world will end that way! It will be sad then. Happydent should be banned.

The two 12 year olds scream in agreement, "YES! Happydent should be banned!"

20 year old: Yeah! Imagine, all the glaciers will melt, Antarctica will become water, all the plants and people will drown, and the earth will become plain blue.

Second year old: That actually sounds interesting. I have always wanted the world to end that way. Everyone dying at once, will be amazing. I will not let Happydent be banned. I will continue chewing it, and contribute to the end of the world.

First 12 year old: Oh my god! You will kill all of us, and yourself. And then, in the next world, when new human species will evolve, after millions of years, they will find out the reason behind the previous world's end. And they will discover that the culprits were you and your Happydent.

20 year old (pointing out to the second 12 year old): Oh yeah. And then, a troubled new human species will participate in the new world's 'Raaz..Pichle Janam Ka'.

The three start laughing in agreement.

First 12 year old: Okay, now let's imagine we are in the show. Didi, you are Ravi Kissen, and I'm the hypnotist. Let's question the troubled girl.

20 year old (excited): Okay!
Namashkar! Main hoon Ravi Kissen, aur aap dekh rahein hain, Raaz..Pichle Janam Ka. Aaj Humaare saath hain, ek ladki, jo apne kayeen kasht ke uttar dhoond rahi hain. Shuru karte hain. Hypnotist ji, shuru keejiye.

First 12 year old (after some introduction, and starting the hypnosis): Toh ab aap kahaan hain? Kya dikh raha hain aapke pairon ke neeche?

Second 12 year old: Mein Antarctica mein hun.

First 12 year old: Kaisa mehsoos ho raha hai?

Second 12 year old: Bahut accha.

First 12 year old: Kya aap Happydent chaba rahein hain?

Second 12 year old: Haan.

First 12 year old: Ab kya ho raha hai?

Second 12 year old: Sab kuch pighal raha hai. Sab log marne waale hain.

20 year old: Aur kya aap muskura rahi hai, Happydent ke saath?

Second 12 year old: Ji haan.

First 12 year old: Kaise mehsoos ho raha hai?

Second 12 year old (with an evil smile): Bahut accha.

And the conversation went on for another one hour fifteen minutes. God bless us all.

Avat(AWW)rr!

2010-01-30T06:52:00.000-08:00

There are movies that have made me cry, and there are movies that have made me laugh. There are movies I haven't watched though people asked me to, for obvious reasons. But one movie, left me expressionless. It was a mystery to me, and still is. AVATAWWRR.

It directly begins with a paraplegic man, Jake Sully, on a trip to a planet called Pandora (Yeah, for sometime I was wondering if IMAX chopped off the initial scenes.) So, this guy cannot walk, and is on a wheel chair all the while and replaces his dead brother on a mission to the unbelievably amazing planet. There, some Colonel, whose name I don't want to remember, tells our guy Jake, about some mineral or material (again, I don't care about it's name) which is all over the planet. (Yes, they HAD to go to another planet, just for a fuckingly and awesomely rare mineral!) Their mission is to collect as much mineral as possible, by transferring themselves to into very dirty blue color bodies, that are horrendously tall, to look like the local aliens. Btw, the local aliens are called Na'vis (I don't know why I found that name funny).

This guy Jake, uses an Avatawwrr identity of sorts, and tries becoming friendly with the Na'vis (I just laughed typing that word). He very suddenly and abruptly gets attacked my dinosaur lookalikes, and a female Na'vi (the HEROINE) saves him. (For some reason, I thought Gracy Singh's entry in Deshdrohi was better. I must be mad!) Her name is Neytiri, and she screams for no reason. She is also almost completely naked. And Jake the Avatawwrr falls in love with her! Can you believe that?! It's SO unpredictable!

And there's magic after that. Yes, magic. Jake the Awatawwrr learns the Na'vi local language instantly. He learns to jump, to fly on vibrantly colorful looking creatures, and also to kiss while in the Awatawwrr body, standing next to a tree that can make you hear your ancestors' voices! There are trees that are purple and leaves that are blue and pink. They also glitter at night, and shine like lights when you walk. Isn't that amazing? He also sleeps along with those Na'vis on rope-beds hanging from trees. He very unpredictably sleeps next to Neytiri, who blushes and turns to the other side so as not to face him while sleeping. (Yeah, she totally didn't realise that she is completely and absolutely naked all the time).

And again, very suddenly, the Colonel whose name I don't want to remember, starts attacking the Na'vis to get his precious mineral. He gets into a robotic machine and starts shooting bombs, throws down sacred trees, and also kills many Na'vis. There are jet planes, and mini rockets, and exotic machines (that fly around aimlessly most of the times) designed just to destroy Pandora. After a long war, amidst Neytiri's screams and love betrayal fights, the Na'vis destroy the humans, with the help of Jake the Avatawwrr. The original Jake later goes naked for reasons known only to him and permanently remains an Avatawwrr.

People who haven't watched the movie yet, go watch it! It's just three hours long. If you watch it on a 3D screen, you won't even have an interval in most of the theaters. And yeah, people have loved it so much that it has 4 Golden Globe nominations already! James Cameron took 10 long and painful years to come up with THIS. God bless him, and Pandora.

Acquiescence

2010-01-19T22:43:00.000-08:00

You can either fly kites or not fly kites on a festival like Sankranti. I, as usual, chose not to. Somehow, only watching people fly kites fascinated me. My clumsy self never wanted to learn to fly one. I was woken up early that day, thanks to my mother's unending complaints about my chronic laziness and abnormally long sleeping hours. "Today's a festival for God's sake!" yelled my mother. Not that I cared, but I woke up nevertheless, since my body was contaminated with extreme hunger, for food.

Sometimes everything in a day can go intriguingly and irresistibly annoying. My mother had cooked something I had detested since the time my taste buds had started recognizing all the different types of food. I couldn't blame her though. She had to cook too much for the festival lunch anyway. Miffed, I told her I was getting breakfast from outside, and banged the door of my house, shut, behind me.

All I could see were colorful kites lying on the ground, and sailing in the breeze. As I reached the tiffin center, a thick smell of delicious Sambhar filled the air. My stomach groaned. I went in, ordered a Masala Dosa, and waited with my token at the parcel counter.

The quickness in the kitchen seemed interesting. I couldn't help but notice the look in the eyes of the man at the counter. It was the look of terminal confusion, and sadness. It was a look of longing to be somewhere and not being able to. He was packing the food, calling out orders, talking to the customers, but he looked sad. At one point, he looked at us, like we were difficult tasks, testing his patience.

He shouted at one of the workers inside the kitchen, to work faster. He constantly avoided looking directly into anyone's face. I don't know why, but I began to pity him. Maybe he had a family somewhere, waiting for him to come back, and fly kites with them. Or maybe he could not celebrate with them, because of his job. One side of him wanted to take a day off, go home, relax and eat good food, than clean the kitchen and pack the food like he regularly did. The other side of him realized that he has to work, get his pay, and not annoy his superiors. His eyes drooped with the burden of responsibility and face flushed with restlessness.

He continued screaming out orders and packing food. I was handed out my parcel after what seemed like hours. I gave a weak smile and thanked the man. He didn't care. Not that I expected him to. He continued working, and I left.

As I Write This Poem...

2009-11-17T23:48:00.000-08:00

As I write this poem,
A woman somewhere is giving birth to her first child,
An old man is dying, with peace in his mind.

A little girl is excited about going to school,
A young girl is taking her life, jumping into a pool.

An employee is desperate for a break,
A homemaker is day dreaming about a job and work.

A husband is feeling guilty about his infidelity,
A prostitute is silently wishing back her virginity.

A student is loving a movie,
A director is regretting making the same movie.

A wife in a mall is spending thousand rupees on a dress,
A eunuch standing outside a mall, is dreaming of social acceptance.

A man driving a BMW is vexed,
A poor kid is touching the car and feeling blessed.

Finally, as I write this poem,
I realize how sleepy I am,
thinking about the unfortunate insomniac.

As Good As It Gets

2009-10-31T03:08:00.000-07:00

My computer had crashed last week. My exams got over a week before that. So, for almost seven days, I had no access to the net, or 'good' movies, that I had downloaded with the intention of watching them, while I was at home.The only thing that kept me sane, was reading. I read all night, woke up almost in the afternoons, and read again. At one point, I felt so trapped in my own room, that I realized, I was drenched in ennui.

So, one regular night, that followed a more regular day, with a routine afternoon in between, my brother decided that he had to go to the cybercafe to get some print outs for his school project. I went along with him, on my Scooty. He finished his work early, and I wanted to stay longer to check my mails. I asked him to take the Scooty along, and leave. After twenty more minutes of mail checking, and orkut scrapping, I paid for that hour, and left. My house was almost a kilometer away, which made me want to take a walk.

It was a very still night, no breeze, but cool. There were hardly any stars I could see, but there was a reluctant moon hung up in the sky. It was 9.30 in the night, so traffic was not obvious. A few shops were open, which was the only source of light on that huge road(street lights never liked to perform their duty). I walked slowly, and ignorantly, lost in thoughts. There were so many things running in my central nervous system, that it took me sometime to realize what I was actually feeling at that point. There are a few areas near my house, that always spooked me out, because of the shadows of long trees and its vacant look. But just then, when I walked along that street, nothing seemed scary. In fact, I found the trees beautiful, and the desertedness seemed like a silver lining. Vagabonds, ogled at me, but I felt invincible. Nothing at that moment, could worry me, or make me feel something which I didn't want to.

I walked, taking brisk steps, looking at the moon, that had taken up a weird shape by then. A guy passed by, on a good looking bike singing the new Atif Aslam song, "Teraaaa...hone lagaaa hoooon..." on top of his lungs. I laughed. I liked the state of oblivion, he was driving in. He didn't care who was around, or if someone was around. He just sang, badly, his heart out. As I walked further I saw a kid, maybe 12 years old, with a heavy school bag on his shoulders (read, time: 9.30 pm), talking to a middle aged man about Science, Social Studies and Maths, and how well he did each paper. I didn't know if I wanted to pity him, or feel happy for him. But what was evident, was, despite all odds that he might be facing, the kid seemed proud of himself.

Almost after twenty minutes, I reached the gate of my house, smiling. I wanted to walk past my house, and have one more, thought filled walk, but I decided to ignore that idea. It might have been a short walk, but short is good. Had I continued to make it a long walk, it wouldn't have turned out to be one of the most interesting walks I ever had. It would definitely have got boring and prototypical. As I climbed the stairs of my house, I was grinning. I do not know the actual reason behind what all I felt, or the thoughts that ran in my head that day. But I know one thing for sure. I felt free.

10 unbelievable things most couples do.

2009-10-20T04:41:00.001-07:00

I can name 167. But these are the 10 most unbelievable things they do. THE couples. Lovers. Love birds. Nightingales. Parrots. Pigeons. Sparrows. Kingfishers. Okay, yeah, I should shut up. They are unbelievable, ubiquitous, incomprehensible, and audaciously dumb. This is what most guys and girls (sorry 'gals') do when they are 'seeing' each other:

1. Blush at the very mention of their partner's name. The girl will say "oh shut up!" when she is being teased by her friends, but inside, she loves every bit of the provoking (are we redefining hypocrisy here?). The guy, if really committed will say, "She is the one, I can't think of any other girl"(yeah right).

2. They will text each other, all day. And those texts have nothing important, that the world will have to depend upon. They will only say "Hey darl, wat doing?", or "whr r u honey?", "wat r u wearing now?". They will also address each other with homosexually stimulating names like jaan, sweety pie, cutie, baby, baba, chocolate, chickelet (yes, people use that word too), chingu, mingu, tingu, chotu, chweetu, motu, jaanu, monu, SHONA (why can't some one ban that song?). They will also have mushy baby talks, because they think that's what couples do.

3. They will meet at least twice a week, that is, if they don't work or study together. If family knows about them, they will tell at home, and meet. It has to be either Mc Donalds, or Coffee Day (I keep forgetting how many branches these eateries have). And if the family doesn't know about them, they will lie, and meet, and then discuss each others families (I pity them so much, that I want to cry. They don't know what real conversations are).

4. They will have their 'firsts'. First kiss, first fight, first move, first time he smiled at her lovingly, first time she sat next to him in public, first time they said the same word together, first time they didn't text each other, first time they texted each other, first time the held hands, first time they accidentally touched each other, first time they said 'I love you', first time he told her that he pissed on the road, first time she told him she was taking her bath and then she went shopping with her mommy (no seriously, why am I still living?). And ironically, the girl remembers all this.

5. They will start calling each other on their cell phones. When I say calling, I literally mean it. They are always on phone. The conversations generally consist of "Where are you?", "did you eat?", "did you pee?", "did you study?", "When are we going to meet?" "Mc donalds or Coffee Day?", "Nahin baba, that's too late, let's go for lunch?", "which movie? Shall we watch Rab Ne Banadi Jodi, or should we watch Jab We Met on your lappy?" (where is the world coming to?)

6. They will do things for each other. "Do this for me jaan, please." "Wear this dress for me baby, please:)" (yeah nothing more interesting than this). The girls will dress up like it's their wedding every time they meet their guys.

7. They will have anniversaries! They will celebrate it like they won some extremely precious award like say , the Nobel maybe?

8. They will comment on each others photos on orkut and facebook. They will write each other highly unintelligent testimonials, which will only display their so called mushy love for the other. The testimonials will also consist of phrases like 'thanks for making my life so beautiful, love you'. They will also put their pics on these sites, where they are hugging and kissing.

9. Generally, parents will not agree. They will marry nevertheless, and will also upload a 1000 pics on orkut and facebook. Friends will even comment, saying that they are such a 'cute' couple.

10. They will go on a honeymoon to Kerela, or Mahabaleshwar. Oh I forgot, Ooty if possible. Maximum, Simla, Manali, or maybe Rajasthan. They will later have kids, and live happily ever after.

Conclusion: Being single is AWESOME.

The Good, Bad and Destiny

2009-09-22T03:53:00.001-07:00

My grandfather died at the age of ninety one. He died of a cardiac arrest, and had a painless death, just the way he had wanted it to be. He had always told me, "Everybody dies one day, my dear. But how you die is important. The more painless your death is, the more closer you are to God. God looks after every deed of ours and passes his judgement. It is all written." At that time, I never thought much about what he said, though I would always love listening to him. He always had a way of explaining things. The best was his ability to describe his favorite food, in such an interesting way, that would even make a food hater salivate. He would tell us cousins every detail of the food particle that he swallowed, and how they felt on his taste buds. One of my personal favorites was his adventures at a temple in Chennai, and the Idly that he loved there. He told me how soft the Idly was, the amount of coconut and milk he presumed, the chef added in the chutney, and the few green chillies that made it irresistable. He told me about the full spoon of hardened butter or ghee that they added on top of each, hot, Idly, and how he watched the butter melt to the heat. As a matter of fact, I have always hated Idlies. But my grandfather made the boring Idly sound so interesting, that I had almost started liking them.

I have never till date met a bigger foodie than my grandfather. Even at his old age, he loved pepsi, and thums up and would always have them with some spicy snack, once in a week. He would enjoy it so much, that I could actually see the childish excitement in his eyes. He had always told me, "Never compromise on food. Food is like an incentive that gives you confidence to enjoy your life to the fullest."

My cousins and I always had some reason to tease him and pull his leg. We made fun of his short stature and extraordinarily huge ears. The most amazing part was, he would sit and laugh with us about it. The kind of twinkle he had in his eyes when he laughed at us teasing him, had a sense of naughtiness and innocence in them. He would tease us back, defending himself saying, "Short people are born intelligent." We would just laugh. As I said, he had a way with words. He was partially deaf, in his old age, and we would often make fun of that too, and laugh with him. He just loved our attention. When we asked him, why he heard so less, in spite of having such huge ears, he would tease us saying, "You people are stupid. You don't know that I just pretend to be partially deaf. I can hear everything." Once, my cousin actually tested his hearing capabilities. He stood far away from my grandfather, and mumbled a few words, and asked him to guess what he had said. My grandfather guessed it right. My cousin kept trying, and my grandfather got all of them correct. Even today, it is a mystery, of how he sensed all of that.

Every night, I would chat with him for hours. He would tell me about his adventures in Southern India, and how he had survived alone, without much money. He had told me those stories almost everyday, and I always knew what was coming next, but I loved listening to them again and again. In those days, he had these annoying black patches all over his back, that would itch all the time. He always called for one of us cousins, to comb his hair and scratch his back for him. I was his favorite grandchild. He would specially send for me, to get a comb for him. He had always told me, that my hands had magic in them, and that one day I will use my hands to heal wounds. I used to laugh it off back then, and there were times, when I would ignore him for no reason. Today, I am pursuing my Bachelor Of Physiotherapy, a stream that indubitably deals with healing the physically and mentally handicapped.

At ninety one, he knew Backstreet Boys, Sachin Tendulkar, Saurav Ganguly, Shahrukh Khan and could perfectly explain the derivation of 'a+b whole square'. He even discussed politics with me, and would always tell me that children should be given their share of freedom. I remember this one day, when I was in my 8th standard. I had newly purchased an autograph book, which I frantically carried with me where ever I went. Cool autographs were a craze in my school those days. I had asked all my cousins to write something nice and witty in it for me, and sign. I had asked my grandfather to do the same. He had a fractured left hand then. His fingers of both hands seemed almost broken with age, and the skin was so wrinkled that it looked like he had no flesh. He asked for his favorite and the best pen he had, and with a stubborn enthusiasm, opened the book, and wrote "Be Happy", with shivering hands. The writing was matured yet seemed so out of practice. He signed under it, with such pride, that brought a huge smile on to my face. That was the first and last time I saw my grandfather write. He died exactly three years later. As the years passed by, I stopped missing him much, and got used to the fact that he was no more. But whenever I am sad, I always remember the two words that he wrote for me, and immediately cheer up, for him. Such is the effect of just two small words.

Before I got Drunk...

2009-08-23T11:32:00.000-07:00

Before I got drunk, I was excited.
Before I got drunk, I wanted to feel inebriated.
Before I got drunk, I didn't want to dance,
Since booze, will make me do it any way,
so I didn't want to miss the chance.

Before I got drunk, I danced anyway,
Before I got drunk I ate my hunger away.
Before I got drunk, I tasted the liquid for the first time,
It was disgustingly bitter and I hated it.
I drank a little more, it felt no better,
It only tasted like water in the gutter.

But still I wanted to get drunk,
So, before I got drunk, I gulped more of the liquid,
Nothing happened to me, I was disappointed.
My friends started getting a high,
I wanted to go and cry,
Before I got drunk, I was not getting drunk at all.

I tried having more,
No change, I was fine,
I danced to the core and called the bottle a whore.
Before I got drunk, I grooved to the music,
Before I got drunk, I waited to get the high kick.
Before I got drunk, I did Kathak.
Before I got drunk, I complained,
Before I got drunk, I did not feel strained.
Time passed, and I remained the same,
Thought the whole idea was lame.

Before I got drunk, I was in my own world,
Before I got drunk, I was cold.
That’s when I woke up the next morning,
and remembered all the partying and all the fun,
That’s when I laughed. Damn! I was drunk!

The Stupidest Conversations...

2009-06-26T04:55:00.000-07:00

"Hello mam. I am calling from LIC Life Insurance Policy mam. We have a new policy this month mam. Are you interested mam?" asks the call center executive. I have a straight face at first. Then I say, "NO! thank you. I am not interested." She asks the dumbest question now, "why mam, can you tell me mam, why are you not interested mam?". I want to bang my phone to the wall now. "I am not interested because I am still a student and I don't care about life insurance policies yet." My best friend bursts out laughing like a mad woman. Then the caller says, "oh, okay mam. You are still a student mam?" I just told her I was, why the fuck does she have to bug me with that question again?! I say, "yes." "Okay mam, do you know mam if anyone in your family is interested mam?" Now, I want to kill myself and her. I say a stern "NO" and hang up. My best friend laughs even more now, and I am staring at her with a straight face. And then I start laughing too.

I don't understand these calls sometimes. I bet most of the people they call say "No" to everything, but they still call. I get annoying calls from idea and vodafone people sometimes. I once got a call from idea customer care at 11 in the night. I was already pissed that day, and when I pick up the phone, they started playing some cheap telugu song so loud that for a moment I thought I would go deaf. And they play these songs to advertise dialer tones! I don't understand, if people really get attracted to offers like that on phone. Especially if they play songs like "jeja ammaaaa!!!" And these people from the company are clever! They call from different numbers so that we don't know its them calling. Sometimes when I take the call, an annoying kiddish voice says "basha! basha!". And vodafone people call up telling me about "special" offers. They talk as if they know the best english in the world. They even try and put up an accent sometimes. Aren't call centers supposed to teach spoken english? Or why can't they just talk in a language they are comfortable in? The other day, a person calls me up saying "hala maaam. We hau ye new aafer maam. You are intereshted maam?". I controlled my urge to laugh so badly! I said, "no I am naat intereshted."

Sometimes I save the idea and vodafone numbers that I often get calls from and if I am lucky enough they use the same number to call me again. And its obvious that I don't receive them. I see people shout at the callers at times, for asking ridiculous questions. And thats when I cant help but feel sorry for them.

"Cut the Rug"- To Ragging

2009-05-31T10:09:00.000-07:00

Last week, I was asked to write an article on ragging in my college. I didn't want to. Some how I thought the idea was boring. But I did anyway, and for that I had to ask different people about their experiences. I didn't want to do that, again, but contrary to my expectations and chagrin, I got to know some really interesting stories. I remember the first day of college and how excited and anxious I was. I wanted to get ragged because I thought it would be fun. And I got ragged the most out of the girls in my class and in a way it was fun because they made me do funny things. They asked me to sing, propose to a really short guy, enact baby rhymes, etc. It was stupid, but I laughed a lot while doing it and had taken it sportively. The guy seniors were pretty lenient. Girl seniors were bitches. They humiliated me, they screamed at me, told me what a big snob I was and how I had to respect seniors and crap. People say that you become great friends with your seniors after the ragging process. Strangely enough, I am not friends with any of my seniors. We never shared a great rapport. After around 3 months of joining my college, I realized how dumb it is to rag people and get ragged. Funnily, all the seniors always chanted about how ragging was only a sort of interaction. Interaction my ass. I did not interact normally with any senior. I was only laughing like an idiot. And most of them, scared that we juniors might go and complain to the management, tell us, "We are not ragging you. This is just an interaction." And we like ideal jack asses, nodded to everything they said. As a junior, you tend to be stupid, because the seniors generally intimidate you. You listen to everything they say, and not retort. Many juniors complain about how they hate this sort of torture every day, but hypocritically, they rag their juniors too. People are weird. I think most juniors develop a kind of ego when they become seniors. And they acquire this " I was ragged, now I will rag too. They are dumb juniors after all" attitude.

One of my friends shared his ragging experiences with me. He told me how much he was degraded and how medical students are ragged till they start weeping and beg the seniors to stop the torment. Apparently he was called to the hostel one day, and was forced to drink and then go absolutely nude. They were given mango leaves, which they had to tie around their waists, and dance all night around a fire which the seniors had lit, on the hostel terrace. One guy was even asked to urinate into the fire. My friend told me that he was mentally, very severely affected by this, and even had viral fever for a few days. He would bunk college because of the fear of ragging. All this happened around six years ago, and now he tells me how much he laughs looking back. Though he felt mentally tortured back then , he ragged his juniors badly. He asked them to go naked and rub the black board with their butts. I was shocked. It was gross. And my friend was laughing about it! Hypocrisy and sheer grossness. I was disgusted. I do not understand what guys get when they see other guys naked while ragging. Is that not gay? One more friend tells me how one of my seniors was asked to expose one of her breasts, which she did, and one of the guys shot a video and circulated it all over the campus. The most appalling thing was, the girl's atrocity.

Seniors in most medical colleges scold, scream, dominate, and also beat most guys up. I was scolded and screamed at many times for not wishing the seniors, not getting them chocolates. They even scolded me for not ragging my juniors properly. WTF?! One of the girls told me "you think you are miss universe don't you?". I so wanted to say, "yes mam, I at least think something about myself, I pity brainless beings like you." But I didn't. :| I did give them a look, but thats it. One of my parallel batch mates, tells me, "People should be ragged! I got ragged, and I learned a lot from my seniors. I ragged my juniors, because it is from their seniors that they learn professionalism." He clearly does not know what ragging is and neither does he know what "professionalism" is. One more ridiculous thing is, we are asked to address our seniors as "mam" and "sir". It is absurd. What are they? Nobel laureates? The worst thing is they force us to address them like that. I think its because they know how useless they are for this world, and this is the only chance they get where they can at least pretend to be great people. Sad lives they lead I say.

Just the other day, I was watching We The People on NDTV 24*7 where there was a debate on ragging going on. Even Aman Khachroo's(the guy who was beaten to death by his seniors) father participated. One of the students, had made a point in the debate that, as most of the intense ragging takes place in hostels, a separate hostel must be made only for freshers, located far away from the seniors' hostels. I think she had a point, and it will make a difference. I don't know why interaction has to be in the form of ragging. You can even "interact" by talking to them casually, at maybe college fests, functions, etc. Why is not ragging some one a big deal? I fail to understand the purpose behind ragging and why it is so necessary to make fun of the juniors and pull their legs, when you don't know anything about them. And as matter of fact, I did not rag any of my juniors.

That's The Way The Cookie Crumbles..

2009-05-15T21:38:00.001-07:00

No, not my cookie. The other day, I had gone to meet an old friend of mine. We decided to meet at Mc Donalds. By the time I had reached there my friend still hadn't arrived. So I was waiting for him, when this little kid, who seemed to look not more than six years old, came to me begging for some money. He seemed pretty clean looking for a beggar. He had put on a multicolored full sleeved shirt and trousers that looked very old, but neat. His hair was messy, which I think he did it himself, for the "effect" and his face had sum black marks on it, again which I think he did it himself. He was walking normally and coolly until he came to me. Looking at me, he suddenly made a sad expression, bent down a little as if to show off that he doesn't have a right posture and held out his hand. I held back a laugh.

"Didi, please give me 50 paise, I didn't eat anything from the morning." he said. "What will you buy with 50 paise?" I asked. "Anything!" he said. "Who sent you here, to beg?" I asked, to which he stared at me for sometime and then replied, "nobody." "Oh, so where are your parents?" I asked. "They are not there. They have gone up." he said, meaning that his parents had died. "Oh, so you must have some friends, to beg along with you" I asked. "No, I wander on the roads alone, now please give me the money" he said. "Wander alone eh? You don't go to school?" I asked. "No I don't. Now please give me the money!" he pleaded. "what is your name?" I asked. "Tara, now please give me the money, please." he said. "I will not give you 50 paise, I will give you three rupees, will you tell me who sent you to beg?" I said, handing him the money. "Nobody sent me here." He said, now standing straight and making a happy and healthy face, looking at the money in his hand. "Oh, so you don't have a home, and nobody sent you here. So where do you sleep?" I asked. "At my elder sister's place." I was a little confused, "Oh, and where is your sister's house?" I asked. "Saroor Nagar" he said. "That is very far! How will you go there with no money" I argued. "Didn't you just give me money? I'll take the bus." he said, with a naughty and mischievous grin on his face. " Okay, then what will you eat if you spend money on traveling?" I asked. "I'll eat at my sister's place!". He laughed a very kiddish laugh filled with impishness and walked away and started begging other people.

I was surprised at his smartness! He nicely took away three rupees of mine, on the pretext of having a conversation with me! Wow! I felt like such a fool. But I couldn't help laughing at myself. That little creep made such a jackass out of me.
He nicely earned his travel expenses from me, and will give that money to his so called sister, who will feed him a feast at night for begging and making idiots out of people like me. That's the way his cookie crumbles. Beg for money, cleverly, for the bus ride, go home and hog on his sister's cooking!

Strange Connections

2009-05-06T09:12:00.001-07:00

I already wrote a blog on how I went on a holiday to Bangalore. So there, I stayed at a cousin's place along with my family. He lives in a comfortable house with his wife and two and half year old son. The moment we entered his house, the little kid was ready to greet us with his mom. I had never really met him before. He was blushing all over. He's a kid after all. We all got comfortable in the house, unpacking things, sipping coffee and all that. All the while the little kid stood behind his mom, silently blushing, peeping and smiling at me. I went and pulled his cheeks, smiled at him, tried to tickle him, and poke him so that he at least would start talking.

Every body was trying to play with the kid. His parents asked him to sing songs, introduce himself and ask every body for their introduction. He didn't pretty much do everything he was asked to. He came up to me and smiled. I gave him a peck and smiled back. He touched my cheek and ran away. After that he started following me wherever I went. He once even followed me to the bathroom. I was finding it very funny and cute. He had trouble pronouncing my name, so he called me "A-ne-keeya". Every now and then he would come to me, and hold my hand and take me to his room, show me his toys, and recite nursery rhymes and sing songs. His parents were shocked and so were the others, since he was not responding to anyone except me. He wanted me to feed him breakfast, play with him, talk to him and listen to him, which I did patiently. He wanted to do everything on my lap or while sitting next to me.

He ran behind me all day, and at some point it did start getting a little annoying. You cant keep the kid happy all the time, and at the same time, you cant make him sad too. So I was as patient as possible with him. That evening we went out shopping along with the kid's parents without telling him about it, leaving him with his grandmother. I was told that the kid always wanted his mother around,and would cry if he didn't see her. That night when we returned, my aunt told me he cried because he didn't see me. They made him eat telling him that I would come back if he did. He was all shy and coy when he saw me back home, and then again started being silly and cute, and was dancing around me chanting "A-ne-kee-yaah" every time. Later that night, he was sitting by my side, with his mom, when he called me "mumma". I didn't know how to respond to that. I just smiled at him and said, pointing at his mother " No, mumma is here, right next to you." He said "No, you are mumma", and then gave me a kiss on the cheek. His mom had turned pale. She tried diverting his attention, talking to him about the songs and rhymes he learned lately.

I was lost that night, in thoughts. My whole family was surprised by how much he fancied me more than anyone else. They were talking about, how we might have been related in our previous lives. I didn't know what to conclude. Maybe the kid was lonely, and was happy that I was talking to him, or maybe his mother was not as friendly as I was. It was strange. Very strange. It is indeed very difficult to analyze a little kid's psychology.

How It Is To Feel Like Ice...

2009-05-06T04:21:00.000-07:00

First of all, A VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BLOG! It turned one on 5th! I wanted to blog on that day celebrating it's first b'day, but couldn't since I finally went on a holiday. No, not with friends, but with family. It was some experience that I had. My dad had casually planned to take us on a trip to Bangalore to visit my aunt and cousins, since I had been everlastingly pestering him about how badly I wanted a break. Considering that, he decided to take us to Mysore and Ooty too. We reached Bangalore on 2nd May, and stayed at my aunt's place. I shopped my heart out that evening in commercial street. Next morning we left for Mysore in a tourist bus that we had booked for ourselves. We reached there by mid-noon, and boy was Mysore hot! I was sweating like a pig. Nevertheless, it was a real green place to see. You can hardly see any empty, barren grounds there. Every place is literally a garden. In the evening we checked out the Mysore Maharaja Palace. It was one of the most sexiest palaces I had ever laid my eyeballs on. It was shimmering in the evening sky, decorated with golden lights everywhere. It was like a magical piece of art that stood in the thin air. But tragically, we were not allowed to go inside, due to security problems.

We left for Ooty the next morning. The vehicle we were traveling in had to drive through forests of Nadamalli in Karnataka and another forest whose name I don't remember, in Tamil Nadu. We were told that we might come across wild animals like elephants and tigers. My eyes were wide open rummaging around the place, but in vain. I couldn't spot a single wild animal. I saw a deer though, which isn't what I would call wild. Then the vehicle drove through mountains, climbing and turning around sharp hairpin bends. It was like sitting on a roller coaster that moves in slow motion. We could sense Ooty from a distance as it had started to get chilly. Nobody had carried woollen clothing along except me. But it didn't look that bad anyway.

Ooty was beautiful. Everything about it was so green and pleasant and cold. I had some of the yummiest chocolates there. We went boating, and horse riding after which our bus parked at a location from where we had to walk to the famous botanical gardens. My parents, brother and I started to walk. Thats when it started to rain. At first it seemed like a temporary drizzle since it was common on top of a hill, but later it started to rain heavily and then it started to hail! There were only medium sized pieces of ice every where. People were running for shelter, and so were we. We found a place to protect ourselves from getting anymore drenched at a vendor's shop who sold items that he imported from Tibet. We were frozen. To add spice to the situation, we were in our cotton clothes, and had nothing to cover ourselves with. I was shivering, and laughing and expirating fog out of my mouth. I just couldn't help it. It was fun! I was giggling like an idiot despite of my dad's chagrin who hates any form of rain. My skin felt prickly all the while. A few pieces of ice even fell on my hands and feet which made me shiver even more. We waited there for a while and then decided to walk to the bus. It was so cold that I could not sense anything on my skin anymore.

We had to cross a street full of rain water and mud. It was like walking in ice water. Or maybe ice water would have been warmer. The moment I stepped on it, my foot became numb. After walking a few steps, I felt like frozen, hard ice. My fingers turned blue and my toes were aching because of the cold. I still had to walk many more steps to cross the lane. After every step I told myself, " a few more, and then you will be warm." After what seemed like ages, we reached a shop where my dad asked for some towels that could help us dry ourselves up for the time being. We had to adjust with handkerchiefs anyway, since they had no towels for sale. We started our way to the bus again, but this time, my brother and I ran. Just for the heck of it. Cold air hit me like a blow, with hail from above and our feet were so torpid that they were almost dormant. But we ran. I felt frozen and fragile, as if I would break open any moment. It was like the whole place was like a refrigerator with the chilled room leaking from the above. I never remember feeling so cold in my life. I have never felt snow or never been to many hill stations that have snow peaked mountains. But I doubt I'll feel this cold again.

There..I finally casted my vote!

2009-04-16T06:31:00.000-07:00

I voted today, and I feel elated! Me and my best friend were so excited that we woke up early and went for a morning walk before casting our votes. We stood in lines, waited till our legs almost dropped down, and finally got the black mark on our fingers. My friend and I have started calling them "The Fingers". We even considered not taking our bath for a few days! But you can't do that if you have your mom around. On the whole, it was a crazy, tiring and most importantly the day we voted for the first time! :D. To the people who haven't voted because of the problem with registration and voter cards, I feel sorry for you, the system sucks. For those who didn't even bother to get registered, I feel sorry for you too, you so need to get a life.

Rrraaaandom!

2009-03-30T10:09:00.000-07:00

Today, I was going through some of the old posts I hadn't published, when I came across this one. I had written this on 23rd October 2008. I couldn't stop chuckling at the stupidity of it, and was amused by how much things have changed in the past few months! I don't know why I didn't post it back then, maybe because I knew it was stupid!

It's been exactly three days that I finished writing my final exams..and you dont want to know how bored and lazy I already feel!"Alekhya!wake up!"..that's how my day starts these days.."wake up!its 11.30am!" and goes on.. my mother's screaming.I dont blame her though..I have become a lummox!

I have only been readin from the past few days..I finished reading The Kite Runner finally!This has been my second attempt to readin it,first having failed on an account of depression that the book led me to.There have been books which touched me,at the most,just moistened my eyes,but this book made me weep!At one point,I actually shut the book and started weeping.I was so moved by it,that I have started downloading the movie now.I hate u-torrent sometimes,or maybe my computer doesn't like me!It refuses to download successfully everytime I am dying to watch a movie.I tried limewire,but my luck was so damn good that after downloading 83% of the movie,it said error..and went down to 9%!(sigh).So the point is,Iam still downloading it,and have decided to stick to torrent,and will definitely smash my PC if it doesn't download the movie properly this time!(how I wish I could do that!).I have started reading A Thousand splendid Suns now.

These days I miss my school days a little too much.I did my schooling from Our Own English High School,Sharjah,U.A.E.I came to India after my 9th grade,and started studying here.I so hated it,but I managed to pull it through.Sometimes I wonder how my life would have been had I studied the rest of my grades in Dubai.It would have been like a cliched "zameen aur aasman ka farak" kind of a difference,but yeah,I wouldn't have been what I am now.So the point is I am bored,and out of ennui,I am being nostalgic!

You know sometimes people can get so damn annoying!I hate my college!Its probably one of the most "un-exciting" and "un-happening" colleges in the world.And people there are such that even if you sneezed,the entire college will get to know where you sneezed,at what pitch you sneezed,if you covered your face while sneezing,or where your hands were while sneezing,and when you sneezed within a day minimum.(I hope you got my exaggeration).In short everybody gossips about the dumbest thing around, which is so not me.So I feel outcasted in a wonderful college like that. Having only one friend who atleast to an extent is like minded,can get frustrating. But in a way I have got used to it since I had no other option!

I so want to go out of town! But everybody around me seems to be busy.But I am still waiting for college to re-open so that there will be some academically challenging things to take up with a whole new set of subjects waiting to play with my brain! I hope they dont bore me too.Kathak classes are fun though. Sir makes us dance for a whole one hour or more sometimes,that makes me feel fresh and I love kathak. I am waiting to perform on stage,but that might take a while.Besides all this, I catch up on my favourite comedy movies or serials,because laughing is like my stress buster and also makes me feel on the top of this world.I love to laugh.When me and my best friend get together,we laugh so hard that people at my place get scared hearing us sometimes!My brother tells me he has nightmares about our laughing.Yeah right.He is another bluffing buffallo.I love annoying him,and he annoys me more!

Anyways,I'll sign off before I write any more crap.I'll get back to reading and will go do kathak for an hour in the evening.

Mind's a Mystery,So Sell it Clever!

2009-03-09T08:22:00.000-07:00

Mahatma Gandhi once said “You can chain me, you can torture me, you can even destroy this body, but you will never imprison my mind." The quote moved me.The mind indeed is one of the most treasured tools of an individual.Polish it and use it regularly well,or leave it to rust.It is ubiquitous,nebulous and traditionally genetic.It is a possession that cannot be comprehended fully by anyone,sometimes by one's own self too.

Mind is clever,imaginative,nervous,intuitive and many more things which is beyond exegenesis.The mind is the reason behind every deed an individual performs.It can memorize a small multiplication table to be responsible to a terror attack.A small cabbage sized organ like the brain,can create a larger than life big bang theory and can destruct people's lives through terror attacks.Its a mystery to me that a small mind could be responsible for everything that we do.

Different people have different opinions and ideas.Some people decide to use them,some people don't. They prefer to stay in their safe little box and maintain a low profile. I believe everybody in this world has extraordinary ideas.Ideas that can change the world's outlook. But somehow people refuse to use them,discuss them. Maybe due to inhibitions,lack of confidence or ego.Again here,the mind plays a trick.Its multitasking amazes me!It can produce,inhibit and reproduce at the same time.It is even capable of storing trash! For instance,I remember my father's old friend's brother's second daughter's birthday(whom I haven't met or seen till now).Yeah you can call me mad,but honestly,I can't erase it fron my head. Okay I am deviating from the topic I was talking on now.See what my mind does sometimes;). So ideas can be clever,dumb,useful,useless and so on. But how will anyone know what your mind is like unless you share your thoughts? Generating ideas and thoughts and not putting them to use is equal to being dead.

In the current scenario that we live in,the mind can get constructuve or destructive. Its all about how you set you neurons to work. Let your mind,filled with clever ideas help the world be a better place to live in,or let it get involved in world destruction,or maybe let it do nothing. What ever you let your mind do, directly or indirectly effects every one around you.

And I can go on and on about this. Even books written by Mario Puzo haven't been enough to be able to prove what the mind is actually all about. So its an ocean,and my blog has by far been too hypothetical to keep you interested anymore,so I'll stop here.

"Great minds discuss ideas,Average minds discuss events,Small minds discuss people."-Eleanor Roosevelt. (I don't know how much I agree with this,but yeah cleverly worded.)

Stupidity,Priceless Humour and Unselling ear-buds..

2009-02-06T23:28:00.000-08:00

I travel to college boarding the college bus everyday.Our college is situated almost 70 kilometers away from where I live,so the transport the college provides is most convenient compared to the long never ending journey in the city buses.The bus stop is around 4 kms away from where I live so I keep travelling all day...home to bus stop,bus stop to college,college to bus stop,bus stop to back home.Every evening when we get down the bus,there is a throng of vendors selling almost anything.There is this particular vendor,around 60 years old,who piqued my and my friends' interests because of the peculiar and rhythmic way he sold ear-buds."Maaaaay-dum!maaaaay-dum!(Madam!Madam!) Onlllly phai rupiss!".Neither did anyone pay attention to him,nor did they buy his ear-buds.I would always wonder if he never got bored standing there and selling things which hardly got sold.I felt sorry for him.But the first time we heard him,we couldn't help but laugh.He sounds acutely funny.He noticed this,and thought he had amused us.So he started saying "Maaaaay-dum" even more loudly from the next day on.After a few days,our gang had stopped laughing realizing that it would be rude and started ignoring his presence(though his maaaaay-dum would make us titter a little).Little did we know how much he was enjoying our attention.The funniest part was,he had started to fancy my friend Nupur!

We actually realized that when one day,we normally got down,and completely ignored him,he gave a nice bold flying kiss to Nupur.This time everybody laughed except me(you see,I didn't want to provoke his interest and fascination for my friend further),but looking at them,a little later even I burst out laughing.Nupur also laughed,since she didn't know what else to do.

A few days passed and the man had started to get annoying.This time he had come up with new witty one-liners to amuse us.He once looked at Nupur and actually said"arre,yeh to meri Radha hai!!'(she is my Radha!),for which all of us had a "wtf?!" expression on our faces.We found it very hilarious,but we made sure not to laugh in front of him.He tried this a few times.Then,he started using other cheeky words.He didn't seem to give up on Nupur at all.He started calling her "jaanam"(beloved).Every time she passed by him,he would call out to her,"jaaanammm!".

Everybody in our bus got to know about Nupur and her oldest fan,and she had become the butt of all our jokes.These days,our bus stops way ahead of our bus stop because of certain traffic and security problems,so the old man hardly gets to see Nupur,as she goes home taking another road.We saw him every day though,and his search for his Radha is endless.I told others in our gang to make sure not to laugh in front of him.Laughing will only make him act more smart.It would be like a hint for him to continue his stupidity.

Its difficult to comprehend a street vendor's life.Maybe this old man is bored with his life,and is just having some fun.But one thing I appreciate about him is that he never gave up on his ear-buds.I don't know how much money he makes everyday,but he still comes there on the same spot and tries selling them all.He atleast has some dedication,even if it was we who stabled it a little more for a while;).We haven't seen him for a long time,but still hear his loud"Maaaaay-dum!" every evening.

"Kathak Kronikles"

2009-01-13T21:50:00.000-08:00

A song playing vociferously,no one else at home other than me,I could be a sight.Irrespective of the genre of the song playing,I'll losen my hair and start dancing like I got possessed or something.I make sure the volume is adjusted to the maximum,and sometimes the song is so loud it could probably even wake the dead.There's no pattern to the steps I dance.I just waltz,and I can keep on dancing,until my ribcage starts hurting.

My relation with dance has been entertaining forever.I remember the first time I danced on stage,I was in my 3rd grade.I felt on top of the world.On stage,I feel impregnable.I acquire this"no-one-can-stop-me,I-have-the-whole-stage-to-dance-on" kind of attitude.

I can hustle and whirl with the tune being played,but I have always wanted to learn a classical form of dance.I did my schooling in the U.A.E so finding suitable teachers to teach me was a little bothersome for us.But I did end up joining kathak classes when I was 6,though it went on only for a year.I did not have time to get back to kathak again until December 9th,2007.That was when I joined Kathak classes in Hyderabad along with my best friend.Since then there has been no looking back.

Kathak is a beautiful form of classical dance.The grace and sensuality it has is second to none.It is characterized by fast foot work,and spins which is most captivating.I remember our first lesson and how my friend and I were awed,and scared at the same time wondering how we were going to learn such a difficult cavort.But guess what?Ten days ago,we gave our first stage performance!:D:DAnd woah!what fun we had!we did screw up a little here and there while dancing,and we looked like two women possessed by Hindu godessess,but who cares!We gave our first performance,thats what matters the most.And know what?we are performing again next month!And know what?we'll keep performing until our muscles fatigue one day.No,I think we'll dance even then.Anyways,why am I even thinking about what I can or will do fifty years later?For now,all we are going to do is,dance like we will never dance again!

Sayonara 2008!

2008-12-31T01:39:00.000-08:00

Finally its the last day of the year.Tomorrow will be a brand new day,of a new month of a new year.The thing I am most excited about right now is the party we are going to have at a friend's place.There will be music,dancing,truth or dare,and at midnight,we have all decided to light candles in tribute to all the bad things that happened this year to the world and to our individual lives.A very divine way to welcome a peaceful new year.

This year has been a very unforgetful year for me.It has shown me many ups and downs in my life,precisely many downs and a few ups.It has shown me failure,loneliness,boredom,confusion,restlessness,depression on the negative front.But it has also shown me the strength of friendship,love,and in a way,the way of living life.It has taught me so many things that I probably,wouldn't have learnt had I not gone through all the rough phases.It has taught me to love life and live it even when it is colorless and blanched beacause thats when you realize the importance of a colorful life.And it has taught me well,and I have successfully learnt my lessons.Now its not very difficult for me to face upstreams,beacause I know how to climb them.

Life is such.And I am just happy to have lived to see the end of the twelve months and the beginning of the forthcoming year.

Here's wishing you all a VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR!:)

Yet Another Speaker..

2008-12-13T21:57:00.000-08:00

After the Mumbai terror attacks,I refused to blog.I don't know why but I just didn't want to blog.Maybe because I was too depressed to express my traumatized feelings or maybe I was too tired reading people's blogs on the topic.I watched this show called "In Memory" on NDTV today.It was a show in tribute to the great martyrs who gave up their lives to secure the victims' lives.I cried.Who wouldn't?Anyone in their right minds,who has a heart will cry seeing all that.Thats all we can do.Cry.Give some condolence,feel bad for a while,and then slowly,we'll forget.Forget whatever happened,and move on as if nothing happened,because most of us have been fortunate enough to not be one of the victims,and to not have lost our near and dear ones.Initially,the attack shocks us,then we feel sad for the people who lost their lives,have discussion with friends,curse our nation's improbity and its leaders,write blogs expressing our anguish.But then what?How many of us have been able to do as much as we have talked on the very subject "our nation" and "terrorism".All we can do is hope that someone will come and help to curb garbage like this.Even I haven't done anything yet.Write now even I am just typing stuff which had been burried deep in my mind for days,and now is flowing out through my fingers.

I would call the NGOs and the cops who fought against the terrorists real human beings or real Indians.Many of us are just here to talk and discuss and debate.The TV reporter Vikram Chandra said something on the show today for which I wanted to start clapping.He said "We don't provide proper equipment to the NGOs,we don't encourage them,we totally ignore the fact that they are payed far less than many other people in this country.And now when they die,we gather here pay tribute to them."How true.It was like he was speaking my mind or many other people's minds.But how long are we going to only think and talk?We are a great nation-agreed.We have amazing unity-agreed.We are all rueful when it comes to terrorism-agreed.But how much is unity going to help us?and how much is thinking alike going to help?I am not going to talk about the politicians.I am too pissed for that.Our curses will not reach them,even if they do,they won't change,and having young and sensible politicians is like eons away.Maybe that can only happen if young minds like our's get stirred and we wake up and try and do something.I know I am throwing all those Rang de Basanti type dialogues,but you know,those dialogues were good!

The attacks in Mumbai were probably one of the most malignant attacks ever witnessed by the country.I am sure people will not forget this for a long time,but I have this hunch that gradually they will.But I have promised myself I won't.

The Leaking Tap

2008-11-10T08:37:00.000-08:00

Water,water!leaking from the tap,

what are you trying to tell me?

you are disturbing my nap!

My fair lady,listen to me carefully,

drop by drop,I fall in the sink,

my screw is loose,but you just think.

I make irritating noises,

all you have to do is listen to my inner voices.

Each drop represents a sorrow,

each has it's own path,for it to follow.

After one drops down,comes the next,

life gets miserable and you get vexed.

Collect the drops in a bowl,

and see me come alive,

now I will thrive!

Sorrows are a part of your life,

like drops are,of myself.

They will unite together and make you yourself,

don't be crestfallen,

as even I,have just taught you a lesson.

Relating with Relatives

2008-11-07T23:02:00.000-08:00

My cousin is getting married this december in Chennai.She had come over to Hyderabad to invite a few relatives of ours here.So,I had to go along.We must have gone to around 6 houses atleast.Every house had couples,their children,and old people and every time they looked at me they would say"Oh Alekhya beti!wait for 2-3 more years,you will come here to give us your wedding card!",and I give them my whole-heartedly-half-hearted fake smile.Not even one person asked me about what I wanted to do further,what did I want to study.None.

I wasn't really surprised or annoyed.I feel thats how they perceive things and life.They are innocent.Unaware of today's world and its people,or maybe they just don't want to know.They think everybody was brought up the way they were,and every body brings up their children the way they did.If their daughter got married at 22,then even I should get married at 22 and take care of my family like they once did and are still doing.If their daughters stopped studying further after graduation,then me studyin further is beyond their expectations.And when I don't do anything of the above,then Iam spoilt and bad,because Iam not like them and neither are my parents.And they try new ways of making themselves feel good.They start looking down upon you.Because deep inside they know that you are doing way better than them or their children.I won't really call that jealousy.It's pure innocence and ignorance.Just a very childish way of making themselves feel good about themselves.

You can't help it too.You have to be around them at weddings,smile at them,nod at their stupidity and foolishness.Relatives are just a bunch,who think alike,and can do several things to boost their complex.Looking at them,Iam reminded of small kids.A kid makes friends with children who have similar toys and like or hate the same person whom he does.They play together with the toys they have,and make a gang of friends.Other children are looked down upon as they are expected to have similar toys to play with .So they are bad girls and boys.They are too innocent to realise that maybe those kids don't like the toys they are playing with.These people might have better toys at home,which they like to play with.Later few people grow up to be matured and learn different ways of distinguishing things.The other lot don't,and they are none other than our fakingly-loving relatives.But Iam sure all are not like that.There must be really cool relatives too who can think the way you do.

Blah..blah..blah..Gossip!!

2008-11-06T02:19:00.000-08:00

Yesterday,I was going through this guy's profile on orkut.His turn offs said"I hate girls who gossip".Its a very weird thing to think about I know,but it did make me think.I feel the very word gossip has been totally misunderstood.Who doesn't gossip?EVERYBODY does!When two people are are having a conversation,there is a mention of a third person.Isn't that natural?Whether you talk false stuff about the third person or true stuff, is secondary.The point is,that it is gossip because gossiping is nothing but talking about others.I mean how long can you only keep talking about yourself?You will mention different people,talk about their lives and affairs.Every sane person in his right mind does gossip.They think they don't,but they don't know that they are.Many people say that they hate the so called gossip-mongers but what they don't know is they themselves gossip too!

Degree of gossip is what matters.Too much is always too bad.General gossip is common.There is something which I call unecessary gossip,like"Kareena Kapoor thinks Saif is the best".Yeah right.Like I care!I mean what should I do if she thinks her boyfriend is the best?Clap?!Now that kind of gossip is plain rubbish.Creating rumours and spreading them,thats what I call hardcore gossip and of course is very annoying.

So gossip isn't bad afterall.Its an essential part of one's life,unless you have some psychological problems.I feel people who say they hate people who gossip or say they don't gossip are just being hypocritical;)

I Solemnly Swear...

2008-11-02T03:04:00.000-08:00

I remember the first time when I heard the "f" word,I was in my 5th grade.The only thing I knew about it was that it was spelt as "f-u-c-k" and that it was supposedly a VERY bad word and should not be used or said out loud.But as it is,I was a very curious person back then too;).I didn't stop trying to learn the meaning of the word.I asked all my friends,and asked them to find out from their friends,who,if they didn't know,can ask their's and so on.I even asked my mom,and she said only grown ups can use it.Finally I got to know from a friend that using the word meant that you wanted to fight with your friend.And that day indeed,I did fight with a friend of mine and cried all day.So I promised to God,that I will never even try to use it again.After I got to know the actual meaning,you can guess how much I must have laughed!

But to be honest,I didn't use the word even once till I was 14,and that only happened after a girl in my school used it on me.She said "fuck off!" very smoothly and blankly on my face.I was stunned.I hated her for saying that to me.But nonethless,I used the word sometimes.

Then came what I called "The Bitch Age".Almost everybody used that word.But I didn't.Because I was told only dirty girls,who had boyfriends used it.(damn!I was funny!)So,all my early teens went on and I learnt two swear words in english.."fuck" and "bitch".

In Hyderabad,the place where I live,I learnt many new swears.You have an abundance of swear words that you probably haven't even heard."Maakikirkiri" is the most famous one out here.There are many other,but I might be judged at if I used them here.They mean really bad!hehe.They are super funny anyway!I laugh everytime I hear them.Our college bus driver uses them on every other vehicle driver on the road.I haven't heard anybody use them like he does!Typical Hyderbadi swear words.Everywhere I go someone or the other uses them.Even I do,but mine are a mixture of hindi,hyderabadi hindi and english.

Sometimes I am happy I know so many swear words,because I can get really abusive when I am pissed,and these words come very handy.I come up with new, self-invented,innovative abuses,just for the person who was the reason behind my annoyance.I can keep absuing and swearing all day.I feel so good when I abuse and let out all the frustration.It feels as if you have been holding a whole lot of junk in your tummy and have finally puked!

Living and Not Reading?! Pity..

2008-10-31T05:40:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I wonder how it would be if there was a school where you didn't have to study for tests,internals,externals,vivas,to impress professors,tutors,your crushes..(phew!).Well that would be like a dream come true for me.I hate exams!Iam sure nobody likes them,leaving a few hard core nerds.But as a contrary,I can't imagine my life without books and reading.Iam not talking exclusively about subject books,but other kind of books.Books which contain fiction,non-fiction,drama,comedy,tragedy,biographies,autobiographies,fantasy,philosophy,and so on.

I love to read.And I can read a LOT!I have been fascinated by story books and fairy tales ever since I was a toddler, I was told.As a school kid,I used to badger my parents to buy me all sorts of books.Everywhere I went,I would only search for interesting books that I could read.I would read in the car,in the school bus,in the classroom,and every other corner where I could possibly find a comfortable place to sit and an just read.Library period in school used to be my favourite back then.When I was around ten years old,I started getting bored of Enid Blyton and other fairy tales.I started reading R.L.Stine's Goosebumps.Everybody in my class would fret his books,saying that his stories were scary.I found them amusing an fun to read.A few years later,in my early teens, I started reading R.L.Stine's Fear Street,then Franscine Pascal's Sweet Valley Junior,High and University.How much I enjoyed them!Sometimes I would ignore homework and continue reading these books.Not that my teachers wouldn't shout at me..they used to give me impositions!

I remember how much everybody was crazy about Harry Potter when I was in my 7th grade.I had always wanted to read them,but never got a chance to then.Later,in my 8th grade,my mother's friend lent me the first four books of Harry Potter.I read all of them in ten days.I was literally glued to them.I loved the books so much that I would wake up early in the mornings sometimes and read.This was when I started developing short sight.My mom had to shut the book in my hand and turn of the lights to tell me to bed.I would imagine myself as Harry Potter,or some other character from the book.I would sit and wish that Hogwarts existed,and that someone like Hagrid come and take me there.Post Harry Potter,I started reading Sydney Sheldon,and then James Hadley Chase,John Grisham,Robin Cook,Jeffrey Archer,and these days I am reading Paulo Coelho,Khaled Hosseini,Erich Segal and other such authors and many autobiographies,and how-to-live-life kind of inspiring books.

Yesterday,my friend asked me to send her an e-book of my choice(she doesn't read much).I did,and when I asked her today if she had started reading it,she told me that she had read just one page since yesterday!One page only.I wasn't really surprised because not many of my friends read.Some don't even bother to know what books are all about.I know different people have different interests,opinions and tastes and I don't have anythin against the non-readers.I agree with them too.But I pity people who don't read.I feel they are missing somethimg very deviceful and prolific in their lives.I mean how can people not read something beyond the first page.I don't know how they wouldn't want to know what the second page contains.Some don't even try to read.It remains a mystery to me,me being a total book worm which I presume you must have already concluded reading so much of my blog(if you have come this far into reading it;))Books can change you,atleast they have changed me.Made me a better person,given me a lot of knowledge about things I was absolutely unaware of.They brought a complete change in the way I percieved things,civilized my english speaking skills to a large extent,and have kept me entertained to date.I might be sounding very pre-determined and judgemental,but no I don't intend to sound like that.Maybe its just my love for reading and pity for thse who don't;)

Sometimes,You Just Cry..

2008-10-29T21:32:00.001-07:00

The other day I finally finished reading The Kite Runner.Frankly this was a second attempt to reading it,the first having failed on an account of depression the book led me to,but this time,I realised many things about the book that I hadn't when I tried reading it before.

The story is about two friends Amir and Hassan,and the plot set in Kabul,Afghanistan.Amir is a rich businessman's son and a Pashtun,whereas Hassan is his servant,a Hazara,a Mongolian tribe,considered one of the lowest castes in kabul those days.Nonethless they grow up together,utter their first words under the same roof,take their first steps in the same house and play together.

Hassan's father and Amir's father(Baba) also grew up together,so to Baba,Hassan is no less than a son.For Amir,this was what made him sad.He had always wished for his Baba's love,which he never really got,as Amir's mother died giving birth to him.He was envious of Baba's concern for Hassan,he being just a servant.He was envious of Hassan's intelligence,dauntlessness and the gift of just knowing things,being an illiterate.Sometimes Amir would humiliate Hassan for the heck of it.Just to see his reaction.He knew this was wrong and would also try apologizing,but wouldn't.But Hassan was a true friend.He could do anything for his Amir agha.He has a soul which is pure,delicate and that of a giving and a dedicated friend.His love for Amir,is something which you rarely get to see.

Amir on the other hand is sort of an introvert.He never fought for his things,always played on the safe side.This is what annoyed his father.But that was Amir's nature,and sadly Baba does not want to accept it.Amir was an innocent boy who loved his Baba more than anyone else,craved for his love and concern.

Amir and Hassan took part in the annual kite flying festival in Kabul every year.Amir flew the kite,and Hassan was his assistant.Hassan was the best kite runner in the country.He would run for the kites Amir cut and get them home for him.And that year,Amir had made up his mind to win the competition just to win his Baba's heart.After a lot of strain,concentration,and Hassan's help here and there,Amir wins the competition.Hassan is more than overwhelmed,and runs to get his Amir Agha the last kite he cut.He gets raped by three Pashtun boys,and Amir witnesses this,but does nothing.Just stands there and watches his childhood friend,his playmate,the boy who can die for him get raped.And then he runs away.Like a coward.Forgetting all the things Hassan did for him,his friendship,and just runs.Hassan still returns home with Amir's kite,and Baba hugs Amir.

Later,Amir drives Hassan and his father out of their house,by accusing Hassan of stealing his watch.Amir feels guilty,of what he had seen and not done.Everytime he saw Hassan,he is reminded of that day when Hassan ran the kite for him.Guilty of his cowardice,his ignorance,his attitude towards Hassan.He didn't want to see him again,as his memories rushed back like a gush of wind.He felt dead,trapped and couldn't share this with anyone.So Hassan and his father leave and go back to Hazarajat.

The Soviet invasion in Kabul,forces all the people there to go away to far away lands,including Amir and Baba who leave for America,due to depredation of their city.There,after several years,Amir still hasn't forgotten Hassan,his loyalty and unconditional friendship.Amir and Baba's realtionship smoothens an they share a great rapport.But he still is longing for redemption.Hassan still haunts him at times,until one day,circumstances demand Amir to leave for Pakistan where he learns many new things about Hassan and learns ways of being good again. He decides to heal the wounds in his life that he created himself and live in salvation.

There are stories that have made me happy,and sad.At the most moistened my eyes.But this book made me weep.It touched me like no other book did.At one point,I just shut the book,and started crying.I cried out of sadness and also happiness.That is what is so amazing about the book.It makes you think.Think about,friendship,about love,about life,redemption and about relationships that don't mean to last,or are just destroyed at one's own will.The book tells you that,one can never be completely bad.You can always be good again.It tells you what effect the past has on your present.When you finish reading the book,you will smile.Not because it has a cliched happy ending,but because it has a fair and deserving ending.I was so moved by the book,that I even downloaded the movie.Hats off to Khaled Hosseini's maginificient and sagacious narration.The book is grasping and contemplative and one of the best books that I have laid my hands upon to date.

MY LATEST LOVE

2008-09-25T08:37:00.000-07:00

DISCLAIMER: IAM STRAIGHT.I WROTE THIS POEM FROM A GUY'S POINT OF VIEW.

I looked into her sexy big eyes,

which made me forget the presence of flies.

The environment being sultry and dirty,

but the shine in her eyes made me feel funny and flirty.

I touched her smooth marble white face,

that made my brain jerk out of place.

"Oh what sexy curves" I thought

while getting scared that if I got caught.

Who cares,I still bathed her everyday,

watching her shine as if it were day.

I fell in love with many pretty ones before,

but not as beautiful as her,yes, loved her to the core.

Couldn't go to work without looking at her,

Couldn't wake up without dreaming of her.

But every night I would praise the man who made her.

"You are great man" I thought.

You are helping me be the envy of my friends!

Yes, because you made my Mercedes Benz!!

Tagged By "Which is that one object you think represents you the best?"

2008-08-15T21:51:00.000-07:00

A very interesting question,and finding a proper answer for it can be quiet a task!I had to rack my brains,think about all the possibilities,and zero on one answer.After I read the question,I was relating myself with every other object that my retina captured then.I had thought of the weirdest answers,some of them being,the door,the window,raindrop,rainbow,cough syrup!(yeah I actually thought of it),sofa,chair,computer,internet,etc,etc,etc.Then after 24 hours of brain racking,lateral thinking,and watever, I finally decided "sea" as the answer.Yes,I think the sea represents me.

Everybody likes to view the sea from the shore.The sea looks different in the morning sun and the night sky,and makes you feel good when you are lying on your back,looking at the waves.Many people go and play with the waves,try to swim with them.However hard you try,the waves will remain recalcitrant,wild and rough.The person trying to swim in it will have to try real hard to pass through them.Nobody will understand the nature of the next wave about to hit them.It gets more unpredictable by the minute.Tired and annoyed,some people decide not to swim any further,as going deeper gets impossible,irritating,scary and understanding the waves becomes a tiring process and soon the person's interest ends in apathy.They realise that the shore was a better place.But not all are like that.There are people who want to swim in it,want to face the waves,enjoy its unpredictability,and out of curiosity of what the sea holds within,want to probe and intrude deeper into it.

Once the person has passed through the sea's wild and crazy nature and has managed to go deep into it,he realises that it is as pleasant as any other water body and never meant any harm.Once he understands it,he will love to play with it all the time.He will realise that the waves, its craziness,obstinacy,impetuosity was just an initial phase,just like my hard outer guise.Some people like me,quiet a many don't,plausbily because they dont want to know the person beyond the hard outer cover.But its afterall one's own perception about a person.

One more thing about the sea is its tidal changes.My mood swings are like the tides,high,low,normal,an so on.They change more than twice a day just like the tides.I can be mad,sad,funny,scary,angry,pissed,emotional and happy,all in one day.

Well I guess thats how Iam,just like the sea.I might seem to you a stubborn,crazy,kiddish girl who gets angry very fast,can be brutally frank,extremely moody,and snobbish.But the more you get to know me,the more you realise how simple,pleasant and mature Iam inside.So on the whole,its all about how you know a person right!;)

NATURE'S SENSES

2008-07-25T09:47:00.000-07:00

In this cruel world,I see the clouds cry,
on the land that is dry.

In the daylight,I feel the sun's warmth,
blessing us with it's rays,washing away wrath.

Smelling the spring,I see,
new life,happy and free.

Hearing the wind,I appreciate,
nature's ways of making me feel great.

Tasting the summer,I realise,
how hard Iam working,to reach paradise.

Lying under the night sky,I sense,
a power above me,twinkling,
that has gifted me,my life.

A past that has led to the present,
A present that will lead to a future.
Smiling,I say out,"Its all a nature's way of nurture."

The C-Section

2008-07-05T06:23:00.000-07:00

Iam doing my 2nd year in Bachelor of Physiotherapy,and have a wide variety of subjects to study this year,starting from human pathology to microbiology to pharmacology to general medicine,surgery,gynaecology and obstetrics etc,etc,etc(phew!).So now and then I make sure that Iam in touch with my subjects because,you tend to find every subject obscure if not read on time.I have always wanted to be a doctor,and love my subjects,particularly surgery.

I remember this one special day of my life,where I got to witness a surgery in the first semester of my course,when even MBBS students themselves are not allowed to enter the hospital.Fortunately we had a very good friend who was a house surgeon in our college.I had once told him how enthusiastic I was about watching a surgery,live,and how I had never got the chance to.Keeping this in mind,he messaged me on my cell one day, when me and my friend were having our lunch as fast as possible as we had to attend a lecture the next hour.His message said:"Iam assisting a surgery,come to the hospital NOW!".Me and my friend got so excited that we shut our lunch boxes,grabbed our aprons and fled!We ran as if we had to win a race or something!

We entered the hospital and were absolutely blank.We didnt know where to go,what to do,whom to ask.As we were gasping and holding our breaths,a security guard came up to us and asked "are you physiotherapy students?",I said "yes".He asked us to go to the 1st floor,and into the operation theatre where our friend was expecting us.

Outside the OT,man...we were nervous!We left our footwear outside,and stepped in.We saw a marble floored corridor with stark white walls,and two doors to the left and right each.The corridor led to a circular amphi-theatre like room which I guessed was the main operating room.I saw all green robed people walking around fast,with a mask on their head,and face,screaming out to the nurses.We just stood there not knowing what to do,when we spotted our friend.He came to us and spoke fast,"go into the second room there,the nurses will give you their gowns".We didnt understand what he was talkin about!Finally he took us to the dressing room,and asked two nurses to help us change.They gave us what looked like pink gowns,made of plastic.We changed immediately,put on our masks,and got out.It then hit me that we were going to watch the operation dressed as nurses!

Outside the room our friend was on the phone,everyone around was walkin briskly,and quickly,but we just stood there staring at nothin.It seemed like one of the head surgeons there noticed that we were new to the strange place,he came and asked us who we were.Damn!what do we tell him?..our friend hadn't told us what to say when asked who we were!After all,students were not allowed to the OT so soon!Me and my friend were tongue tied!We didn't speak a word,we were just stunned.He asked again"who are you people?".Silence."Are you people deaf?Or are you dumb?!!".Again silence."You don't have mouths to speak?!Iam asking you who you are,can't you tell me?how do you suppose you can watch the surgery withou telling me who you are?Are you donkeys?No wait!you two are making me feel like a donkey here not answerin my questions!!"From behind came a voice which sounded so angelic at that moment "Sir,they are second year MBBS students".It was our friend!He saved our lives!We were almost shivering with fear.

We entered the operation theatre.It was a circular room,with all sorts of electrical instruments arranged symmetrically.The room smelled strongly of medicines which could have made anyone sick.There was a stretcher in the middle,with a glucose bottle hanging to its left,and an ECG screen to the right.Here and there around it were small trays filled with scissors,scalpels,forceps,cotton,etc.On the stretcher was a person lying to the side.An anaesthetist,injected the patient on the spinal cord,and was then made to lie down ventrally.The first thing I noticedwas the huge tummy the patient had.I gasped with excitement.We were about to wintess child birth!A caesarean!

Surgeons surrounded the stretcher and faced the patient who was now oblivious of what was happening to her,all thanks to the anaethesia.The head surgeon,an aged woman,took lead,and began the process.Our friend was assisting her standing next to her.He rubbed the pregnant woman's abdomen with some violet liquid which we later got to know was iodide solution.The female surgeon,took a scalpel,and made a neat vertical incision on the abdomen.I was amazed.I just kept sayin "wow!" in my mind all the time.The abdomen was cut,scissors were used to tear the internal attachments to the uterus,to seperate the muscles.We could not see what was happenin inside the abdomen as we were made to stand at a distance.All we could hear were the sounds of scissors and scalpels clattering.The surgeons,kept cleaning the blood with sterilized cotton.

After what seemed like a few minutes,I saw my friend put his right hand inside the patient's abdomen,and pull a tiny little baby head out first,and then pulled out the entire infant's body.It was an amazing sight!I was left gaping at it!It was a cute baby girl!I wanted to start clapping!The surgeon held her upside down on her legs,an gave her a small slap on the butt.She instantly started crying.She was handed over to the nurse to carry on the post-delivery jobs.It then suddenly struck me that we had to attend a lecture.We thanked our friend,changed and ran outside.

On our way back to our class,I had so many thoughts running in my mind.How mothers gave birth,how they carried another life in their tummies for nine whole months,how they cared for their babies,pampered them.Imagine a world without mothers!To put it bluntly,there is no world without mothers,they are creating it.And not to forget the surgeons!man,hats off to them!They are facing the biggest challenges in life.The entire life of the patient they are operating is in their hands!What must be going on in their minds while operating is incomprehensible.I started respecting them like never before after watching the surgery.I suddenly was so proud to be a woman,and a part of the medical field.I walked back to the class beaming.The whole experience was wonderful,and most memorable.We were probably the youngest students in the campus to have witnessed a caesarean,"the C-Section!":D

Dreams Unlimited;)

2008-05-31T04:15:00.001-07:00

Everybody dreams,and Iam not any different.Dreams have always remained a mystery to me,and I think will remain so.Few people say dreams are what you have thought or had in mind all day,few others say,dreams are real life instances,and well even can predict your future(now..i don't really want to get into all that and Iam not talkin of day dreaming here!).I have read that you think even while sleeping,so obviously you cannot think right when your snoring your night away!So dreams to me are certain images that are nothing but cinematic scenes that run in your mind when your adrenalin secretion is absolutely low,and all you can do is sleep your emotions away and your brain is just not very energized to run "right".Most people don't remember what they saw in their shut eyes the previous night,but they do realise that something had been going on in their heads.That dreams come true,predict your future,or depict something,I have no clue,and wouldn't even mind ignoring all those issues.

People get funny dreams,sick dreams,scary dreams,depressing dreams,etc,etc,etc.I don't know how to categorise my dreams,because most of them are basically and simply "senseless".Some are so senseless and funny,that I have a good laugh thinking about them,as I remember almost all my dreams.I wanted to share with you some of the most hilarious dreams I have had the opportunity to view or visualise or create or whatever all in my cabbage sized brain!!:)

Its extremely weird and funny,because I once saw myself hitting saurav ganguly with my slippers on the cricket field!!He starts running to get away from me,and iam running behind him with my slipper in hand!!and guess what?Irfan pathan is watchin all this and laughing!hehe..In one dream,Harry potter,Ron weasley and Hermione granger,are fightin voldemort in my bedroom!and my paternal aunt comes over an wishes them luck!!!In one particular dream,I was standing outside this legendary Rajput palace,when Hrithik Roshan comes on a horse,gets down,comes over and asks me to marry him!:D.hehe..Just the other day,I dreamt that Kangana Ranaut invited me to her house to cheer her little daughter,whose name is also Kangana ranaut!!:..wtf was that??I mean who dreams about kangana ranaut and her unexisting daughter!??!!And know what?Ranbir kapoor turns out to be my first cousin in one dream!..yeah.I know I see too many celebs in my dreams.

Coming to the weirder dreams.In this dream,I see that people all over the world have started to look like colourful building blocks!The body is a block,and the block has tiny four legs below it.And in another dream,we are all stamps!!the people are ruled by a "head stamp" and we are all workers working under him.When he says go "here" and "there" we move like a"collection of stamps"Weird!My best friend shot her crush dead when he made a pass at her in one dream!!now..what will you say to that?;)

One dream that repeats very often is that Iam falling from a certain height.Just falling,and most of the times I dont reach a destination.I'm just falling,falling...and falling.I used to wonder why that dream was so repetitive,but I just decided to care a damn!In one dream,I'm running away from something,in the woods,in the dark night.Its raining heavily,and I run away from something.Iam tryin to figure out what is happening,but all I remember is a bearded man's face.That dream scared me!I have even seen people dying,close ones most of the times in a few dreams.It would get me worried initially,but later I decided I was being very stupid.After all scientifically speaking,dreams are "ishtylish" thoughts of your own central nervous system;)

Finally I can say that my dreams are funny,scary,weird and a bunch of absolute non-sense images,but yeah most of them make me laugh really loud after I wake up from them:D.So its a good way to start a funny and happy day!Somebody said,"want to see your dreams come true?Go back to sleep!!"hehe,and I couldn't agree more!

MATURED INNOCENCE

2008-05-19T03:36:00.000-07:00

Down the street lived a boy named Ramu.
All of seven,but was brave,
Tall for his age,dark and skinny,
big round eyes,and laughed very funny.

Innocence filled his eyes,
and laughter drenched in purity.
Day and night,he worked at a dhaba,
to make a living for his family.

With clothes rugged and dirty,
Ramu cleaned tables,Ramu washed plates,
Ramu served food,that tasted very good.
He never got to eat much,and his master was rude,
he never complained,though people were shrewd.
Ramu loved to sing,Ramu loved to dance.
He watched kids go to school,he played with stones,and they at the pool.

I once asked him "oye!don't you also want to study?"
he smiled and said "one day i will Didi!Life is full of twists,turns and surprises!"

A gas cylinder blasted at the dhaba the next day,
What games the Gods play!
Many died,and Ramu lost both his hands.

Looking at him,my eyes started watering,
I hugged him,"Ramu,how did this happen to you?",I asked crying.
He looked at me and smiled."Don't worry Didi,this is life,and it is full of twists,turns and surprises!"
And I just cried more.

"Terror-easy-m" in India

2008-05-13T23:36:00.000-07:00

Last night i watched this movie called Parzania.Its about a Parsi family,in which a ten year old kid named Parzan goes missing during the Gujarat riots of february 28th,2002.Its all about how his parents,Shehnaz and Cyrus(Sarika and Naseeruddin shah respectively) try to find their missing son,all in vain.

It all begins when the hindu community in Gujarat decides to attack the non-hindus in their state,as they think its an insult to live in the presence of someone who doesn't belong to their community and religion,and the muslims had also killed many hindus in the past being a very obvious reason for their revenge(pathetic minds I say).Matters worsen,when the Hindus plan a surprise attack on the muslims.They build up a huge mob of 5000-10000 people,with swords in their hands,and kill everyone who seems to be a muslim.Old,young,no one was spared.They rape women of all ages,old,young and even little girls.Butcher men and stab children brutally,and burn a few on the roads.They don't even spare the unborn.They burn down houses and vehicles.The police do absolutely nothing.They neither try to stop the people attacking,nor help the people getting attacked.Most of them just stand there an laugh.When asked for help,they say,they havent been given orders to save them!how much more heartless can people get?More than a 1000 people were killed.From this devastating scenario,Shehnaz tries to escape along with her daughter Dilshad and son Parzan,who eventually gets lost in the crowd.To their sheer luck,they escape from the place,and hide in the fields until her husband Cyrus finds them.

Both parents,roam around the entire city in search of their only son.The police seem to be of absolutely no help at all.All they want is bucks.They grab a hansome amount of money from the people,and promise to help them,and then do NOTHING.In mental and physical grief,the family still doesnt give up.They try everything to find their son.

The high government officials hold a meeting with all the witnesses who escaped death on the depressing day.The police and the Hindus who attacked them,bribe all the witnesses to support the police when asked if they were of any help,and fake stories and tell them that the police were doing their best!Out of apprehension,they just do as asked.But a few people,go out fearless and tell the officials the truth.The guilty get arrested,but Parzan is still missing,and they never really find him.All that people do to help them is give them financial support.Can money bring back the dead and the lost?Don't people with minimum sense of humanity understand this?Or wait,is there no humanity in today's India?how..just how can poeple be so mindless,and heartless?

Seven blasts took place in Jaipur yesterday evening,and four more bombs were defused.More than 70 people died,and 200 injured.And you know what Sonia gandhi has to say?..."I condemn the Jaipur blasts!"...What a bitch!Has she ever even taken a step forward to curb terrorism?So many blasts have taken place.Local train blasts in mumbai,blasts at public malls in delhi,mosques in ajmer and hyderabad,and worse,blasts at eateries and children's park in Hyderabad!what has her congress government tried to do?And the bloody Italian female(I doubt if she is a female!) calls herself an Indian!What has she practically given or done for this country,except for giving speeches to innocent public?and mind you,and most of her speeches are absurd and obscure.Thats what politicians can do..give speeches,because as of today,nobody cares,because nothing has been done to them!Can you believe that people can actually get this selfish?They just sit on their chairs,strain an fatten their asses,and talk as if they own the world!We innocent people believe them blindly,when they promise us improvement and developement in the country,and give them our precious votes.Leave the terrorists, I think we should go and set all the good for nothing politicians on fire,and feed them to stray,infected dogs!

Finally this is all happening because of religious differences among people.If someone called "God" existed,then why is he lettin all this happen.If u love and belive in your religion,hasn't your god told you that killing is wrong?Is this what people should do in the name of humanity?kill innocent people brutally because they are not of a certain religion?Attack the people who are at fault.Why innocent men,women and children?How can someone have such destructive minds?Do they kill people out of their innocence of generalising that if one person is wrong,everyone is,or are they just so disgusting that they can murder anyone?I wonder if i can get all these answers(sigh).

Parzania and yesterday's events,depressed me.It made me realise that,in the present Indian scenario,with such cruel minds,and pathetic government,terrorism is probably the easiest thing that can happen to India,as there is technically no one to stop the terrorists from attacking.No wonder India has the record of maximum terrorist attacks.Iam sure terrorits just love our country..its so safe and easy for them,and makes them feel at home!!!

Dealing with the Dead (Part II)

2008-05-09T03:22:00.000-07:00

Okay,continuing from where i had stopped.The next haunting was experienced by my school friend while she was doing her 11th grade.
3) So as it goes,my friend lived along with her mother and elder brother in hyderabad,and her dad worked in Banglore.She and her mom never really faced any problems in the flat they were living in,until one day,a 12 year old girl,committed suicide in exactly the flat opposite to theirs.She hanged herself to death,in her bedroom's balcony,which was clearly visible from my friend's bedroom window.She was a little depressed hearin about that little girl's death,but chose to stop bothering about it.But ever since her death,my friend would hear,strange sounds in her room.Rasping sounds on her door,she heard faint crying sounds,etc,etc,etc.Initially she thought it was just part of her wild imagination,but later she started fearing that maybe she was hallucinating things which made her feel insane.

One night,out of fear,she decided to sleep next to her mother,in her bedroom.When she woke up in the morning,the first thing her mother did,was give her a tight slap an said "dare u scare me like that again!!".Puzzled,my friend asked her what had happened.Her mother in sheer bewilderment,told her daughter that,the previous night,she had woken up and started laughing all of a sudden.When her mom got up to see what was happening,my friend looked at her mom,widened her eyes,an just smiled back at her.Scared,and worried,her mother slapped her,and thats when she went back to bed.My friend never understood who must have made her smile like that at her mother,because she didn't remember a thing!i lost touch with her,but im sure they shifted their house!

4) This happened recently.My cousin and his wife got transferred to Vizag.They found a beautiful duplex house there,for themselves and their son who iz just one year old.My cousin started his work there in his comapany,whereas,his wife decided to stay home for a few days with her son,until he got acquainted with the surroundings.

But as they lived in that house,they realised that it was strange.Every night,they would hear,children laughing,playin on the staircase,throwing toys,fighting an all that.My cousin's wife,once, was searchin for her son in the house.She searched the whole house,and finally cought him sitting in the middle of a dark room and it seemed like he was talking to someone.She just picked him up from there,and took him away(what scared her more was the fact that,her son was petrified of the dark!!).She realised that her beautiful house was haunted.

She spoke to my mother a few days back and told her that,such things keep happening in vizag,and she was used to it,as she was born and brought up there.Most dead people remain as spirits beacause of unfullfilled wishes,an they might be of no harm too.But apparently,she did't want her son to get affected by this,and they have started hunting for another house.Now thats what I call bravery!:O

So these were some true haunting episodes that I wished to share with you all.At the end of it,I would like to say that,yes,I believe that evil spirits do exist.But are they of harm or no harm,that i don't know,and would never..NEVER like to experience something like my relatives and friends did.Iam just not that brave to experience any sort of haunting!

I'll sign off now,because typing all this itself has scared me,an more over I started writing this after watching a fresh episode of "haunting" on discovery channel.To people who don't know about that series,try wathcin it sometime.They show true ghost experiences an hauntings in it.Its pretty good,but not all that scary.Horror movies scare me more!:D,anyways,chao..till i write my next post!
Happy Haunting!:P

Dealing with the Dead

2008-05-07T05:26:00.000-07:00

To be frank,i have always believed that something called "ghosts" existed,and in a way was fascinated by them,not that iam not scared..oh yes iam shit scared!But ever since i was a kid,i would always sit and search for more and more "real" stories about ghosts,and their hauntings,though i feared them.I would read scary novels(R.L.Stine was my favourite author then),surf the net about true ghost stories,check out ghastly images of "true ghosts",and at the end of the day,get freaked out,not sleep for nights,but would still sit and read about them next day!(I still do that:D).So after all this,i decided that i shouldn't be the only one getting scared,you people have all the rights to get scared too!:P..and who knows,maybe all the non-believers might start believing in evil spirits and ghosts after readin this post!well,let me share with you,some scary experiences that my relatives and friends had,and also some partially scary experiences I had.

Starting with the earliest knowledge i gained about true ghost hauntings...

1) My maternal uncle had newly rented a huge duplex flat in chennai,and moved in with his family(himself,his wife,their daughter and son).The house was beautiful,and my uncle and his family were totally proud of it.That night,after my cousins fell asleep,my uncle and his wife decided to check out the terrace of the apartments,there being a power cut too,they wanted to breathe in some fresh air.so,they went up,and my uncle was casually taking a glance at the surroundings,and the view from the terrace,when he felt a ball of wind give him a blow from behind.He looked behind,just to find absolutely nothing.he called out to his wife,and reported to her what he had felt,and after a while he just realised that he was being stupid panicking about it.both of them stood there for a while,and when they were just about to leave,both uncle and his wife heard a pleadin voice call out "amma" right behind them.this time they really panicked because,they were the only ones on the terrace,and somebody calling out to them like that,freaked them out.They just ran downstairs,and locked themselves up in their new house,which had already started gettin scary.

A few days later,my aunt got to know through the watch man that a maid who worked in their flat for a family who lived there before,had committed suicide by jumping from that very terrace they had visited the day before.Apparently,she took the extreme step as she could not stand the imprudent torture her mistress was giving her.She jumped from the terrace an died exactly outside my cousins' bedroom window..and their bed lay just against that very window!To my misfortune,i had gone to their house for a couple of days,and i was asked to sleep right next to that window all the nights I stayed there!!!:O.I almost died of fear,but thankfully,nothing unusual had happened.

But unusual things were happening with the watchman and his wife.One day,my uncle went out shopping with his family and came back really late in the night.It must have been around 1am in the morning,my cousin opened da entrance gate,and my uncle was just about to park his car when,he saw the watchman's wife,lyin exactly next to the car parking space,with her hair all let loose,staring right up as if she saw something there,and was humming songs!!naturally the whole family freaked out lookin at her ghastly expression and behaviour.The thing that worried my aunt the most was that,that woman worked as a maid in their house.

Nothing really preposterous happened after that,until one night when when my uncle heard someone furiously poundin on their main door.He woke up frightened,and opened the door,to find the maid(watchman's wife)standing there,looking scared,helpless,with her hair all let loose.Before my uncle could say anything,she just ran inside to one of their two bathrooms,sat on the floor,and just stared at them!her husband came in with some goblet like thing in his hand,sprinkled some kind of water on her,and took her away.Next day,the watchman apologised to my uncle,and confessed that his wife was being possessed by an "evil spirit",and the thing he had sprinkled on her last night was holy water.My uncle and his family didn't live in that house very long.

2) Another story that freaks me out the most is,the house next to my maternal grandparents house.Its haunted.
Only two people lived there apparently,an old lady,with her only son.The son got into bad company an joined the local naxalites(terrorist troop of andhra pradesh),and ran away from home,leaving his mother with no money for food,or clothes.She starved and starved,and died one day.She had died a very lonely death.The day she died,there was a puja being performed at my grandparents' place.That night,my aunt woke up somewhere around 2am,to go to the freshroom.At that time,the bathrooms were situated at the backyard of the house,where my uncles,an grandfather parked their vehicles.My aunt,opened the backyard door,and stepped out.Before she could walk further,she saw the most unusual thing happen.My grandfather's scooter started ferociously shaking!And it was a cloudless and windless night.You can't even blame such behaviour of the scooter on the wind!My aunt panicked and went inside.

Two days later,my grandfather thought he smelled something really bad,and realised it was coming from the house next door.He went into the house,to find the old lady sprawled dead,and a black cat sittin next to her.Then he realised what the fetidness was all about.Her only son heard the news,and only came to burn her pyre.After thet,my grandparents would always warn me and my cousins not to go on to the terrace after sunset.But we curious kids did go one morning.I went,and the only thing I did was peep into that haunted house's backyard,and thats it!that was more than enough to scare me to go onto any other terrace again!The backyard was the shabbiest backyard I had seen.Barren trees all over the place,trash,weeds,dust,broken twigs and what not!the house looked like a shack from behind,and had broken windows.Anyone could conclude that it was haunted having a superficial glance at the house.

And the most weirdest thing was,the front part of the house had two windows directed towards the morning sun,but the house would never let in even a single ray of light inside.The house always looked dark and spooky.There was a barren mango tree right next to that house,which started reproducing fresh leaves,flowers and fruits,after the old lady's death.Sources said her spirit sat under the tree everyday.After a few years,the government officials,got the house broken down.i hav a few more stories to write,but i guess this one post will become unusually long;) so will stop here.I'll write the rest of the stories sometime later as a continuation of this post.
chao!
have a scary day!:P

Summer Strangulation

2008-05-05T02:10:00.000-07:00

well to begin with,the only thing thats dominating the lives of the hyderbadis now..is the HEAT!(im sure its like this in most parts of india too).it feels as if iam moving around in a huge autoclave(with roads,buildings and people in it!!)and to make matters worse..we were actually asked to come to college till today!(what were they thinking?)..yeah right..as if i would go..i have been cooly bunking college for like 2 weeks now!:D..no,but the thing that makes me say"wtf?!!",is that..most college students have got final exams at this time..that too in the afternoon!now..thats what i call "unescapable torture".I so pity them!and hyderabad has all professional colleges located in the outskirts of the city..imagine travellin 40-50kms in the afternoon..just to write the final exam!(sigh)most people sweat it out at work too though.as far as iam concerned,im kinda having a blast!;)sitting in my room,right under da air conditioner,surfing the net,hogging on icecreams,listening 2 music(rock rules!),sleeping,watching movies, cartoons..(i watched 2 cartoons yesterday..ratatouille and madagascar:D..)hanging out with pal..talkin on the phone for hours..eating my bro's head..hehe and i almost forgot..IPL matches!(deccan chargers suck!)..all this apart..i still hate summers!sometimes i wish i was made of non-melting ice or sumthing :.the only thing i like about summers is the LOOOOONG vacation the college gives us...1 month!(yeah.thats pretty long for me!)okay..i guess ill sign off now..im in the "rammstein" mood..will listen 2 him scream for sometime..chao!