Sayonara 2008!

Finally its the last day of the year.Tomorrow will be a brand new day,of a new month of a new year.The thing I am most excited about right now is the party we are going to have at a friend's place.There will be music,dancing,truth or dare,and at midnight,we have all decided to light candles in tribute to all the bad things that happened this year to the world and to our individual lives.A very divine way to welcome a peaceful new year.

This year has been a very unforgetful year for me.It has shown me many ups and downs in my life,precisely many downs and a few ups.It has shown me failure,loneliness,boredom,confusion,restlessness,depression on the negative front.But it has also shown me the strength of friendship,love,and in a way,the way of living life.It has taught me so many things that I probably,wouldn't have learnt had I not gone through all the rough phases.It has taught me to love life and live it even when it is colorless and blanched beacause thats when you realize the importance of a colorful life.And it has taught me well,and I have successfully learnt my lessons.Now its not very difficult for me to face upstreams,beacause I know how to climb them.

Life is such.And I am just happy to have lived to see the end of the twelve months and the beginning of the forthcoming year.

Here's wishing you all a VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR!:)

Yet Another Speaker..

After the Mumbai terror attacks,I refused to blog.I don't know why but I just didn't want to blog.Maybe because I was too depressed to express my traumatized feelings or maybe I was too tired reading people's blogs on the topic.I watched this show called "In Memory" on NDTV today.It was a show in tribute to the great martyrs who gave up their lives to secure the victims' lives.I cried.Who wouldn't?Anyone in their right minds,who has a heart will cry seeing all that.Thats all we can do.Cry.Give some condolence,feel bad for a while,and then slowly,we'll forget.Forget whatever happened,and move on as if nothing happened,because most of us have been fortunate enough to not be one of the victims,and to not have lost our near and dear ones.Initially,the attack shocks us,then we feel sad for the people who lost their lives,have discussion with friends,curse our nation's improbity and its leaders,write blogs expressing our anguish.But then what?How many of us have been able to do as much as we have talked on the very subject "our nation" and "terrorism".All we can do is hope that someone will come and help to curb garbage like this.Even I haven't done anything yet.Write now even I am just typing stuff which had been burried deep in my mind for days,and now is flowing out through my fingers.

I would call the NGOs and the cops who fought against the terrorists real human beings or real Indians.Many of us are just here to talk and discuss and debate.The TV reporter Vikram Chandra said something on the show today for which I wanted to start clapping.He said "We don't provide proper equipment to the NGOs,we don't encourage them,we totally ignore the fact that they are payed far less than many other people in this country.And now when they die,we gather here pay tribute to them."How true.It was like he was speaking my mind or many other people's minds.But how long are we going to only think and talk?We are a great nation-agreed.We have amazing unity-agreed.We are all rueful when it comes to terrorism-agreed.But how much is unity going to help us?and how much is thinking alike going to help?I am not going to talk about the politicians.I am too pissed for that.Our curses will not reach them,even if they do,they won't change,and having young and sensible politicians is like eons away.Maybe that can only happen if young minds like our's get stirred and we wake up and try and do something.I know I am throwing all those Rang de Basanti type dialogues,but you know,those dialogues were good!

The attacks in Mumbai were probably one of the most malignant attacks ever witnessed by the country.I am sure people will not forget this for a long time,but I have this hunch that gradually they will.But I have promised myself I won't.

The Leaking Tap

Water,water!leaking from the tap,

what are you trying to tell me?

you are disturbing my nap!

My fair lady,listen to me carefully,

drop by drop,I fall in the sink,

my screw is loose,but you just think.

I make irritating noises,

all you have to do is listen to my inner voices.

Each drop represents a sorrow,

each has it's own path,for it to follow.

After one drops down,comes the next,

life gets miserable and you get vexed.

Collect the drops in a bowl,

and see me come alive,

now I will thrive!

Sorrows are a part of your life,

like drops are,of myself.

They will unite together and make you yourself,

don't be crestfallen,

as even I,have just taught you a lesson.

Relating with Relatives

My cousin is getting married this december in Chennai.She had come over to Hyderabad to invite a few relatives of ours here.So,I had to go along.We must have gone to around 6 houses atleast.Every house had couples,their children,and old people and every time they looked at me they would say"Oh Alekhya beti!wait for 2-3 more years,you will come here to give us your wedding card!",and I give them my whole-heartedly-half-hearted fake smile.Not even one person asked me about what I wanted to do further,what did I want to study.None.

I wasn't really surprised or annoyed.I feel thats how they perceive things and life.They are innocent.Unaware of today's world and its people,or maybe they just don't want to know.They think everybody was brought up the way they were,and every body brings up their children the way they did.If their daughter got married at 22,then even I should get married at 22 and take care of my family like they once did and are still doing.If their daughters stopped studying further after graduation,then me studyin further is beyond their expectations.And when I don't do anything of the above,then Iam spoilt and bad,because Iam not like them and neither are my parents.And they try new ways of making themselves feel good.They start looking down upon you.Because deep inside they know that you are doing way better than them or their children.I won't really call that jealousy.It's pure innocence and ignorance.Just a very childish way of making themselves feel good about themselves.

You can't help it too.You have to be around them at weddings,smile at them,nod at their stupidity and foolishness.Relatives are just a bunch,who think alike,and can do several things to boost their complex.Looking at them,Iam reminded of small kids.A kid makes friends with children who have similar toys and like or hate the same person whom he does.They play together with the toys they have,and make a gang of friends.Other children are looked down upon as they are expected to have similar toys to play with .So they are bad girls and boys.They are too innocent to realise that maybe those kids don't like the toys they are playing with.These people might have better toys at home,which they like to play with.Later few people grow up to be matured and learn different ways of distinguishing things.The other lot don't,and they are none other than our fakingly-loving relatives.But Iam sure all are not like that.There must be really cool relatives too who can think the way you do.

Blah..blah..blah..Gossip!!

Yesterday,I was going through this guy's profile on orkut.His turn offs said"I hate girls who gossip".Its a very weird thing to think about I know,but it did make me think.I feel the very word gossip has been totally misunderstood.Who doesn't gossip?EVERYBODY does!When two people are are having a conversation,there is a mention of a third person.Isn't that natural?Whether you talk false stuff about the third person or true stuff, is secondary.The point is,that it is gossip because gossiping is nothing but talking about others.I mean how long can you only keep talking about yourself?You will mention different people,talk about their lives and affairs.Every sane person in his right mind does gossip.They think they don't,but they don't know that they are.Many people say that they hate the so called gossip-mongers but what they don't know is they themselves gossip too!

Degree of gossip is what matters.Too much is always too bad.General gossip is common.There is something which I call unecessary gossip,like"Kareena Kapoor thinks Saif is the best".Yeah right.Like I care!I mean what should I do if she thinks her boyfriend is the best?Clap?!Now that kind of gossip is plain rubbish.Creating rumours and spreading them,thats what I call hardcore gossip and of course is very annoying.

So gossip isn't bad afterall.Its an essential part of one's life,unless you have some psychological problems.I feel people who say they hate people who gossip or say they don't gossip are just being hypocritical;)

I Solemnly Swear...

I remember the first time when I heard the "f" word,I was in my 5th grade.The only thing I knew about it was that it was spelt as "f-u-c-k" and that it was supposedly a VERY bad word and should not be used or said out loud.But as it is,I was a very curious person back then too;).I didn't stop trying to learn the meaning of the word.I asked all my friends,and asked them to find out from their friends,who,if they didn't know,can ask their's and so on.I even asked my mom,and she said only grown ups can use it.Finally I got to know from a friend that using the word meant that you wanted to fight with your friend.And that day indeed,I did fight with a friend of mine and cried all day.So I promised to God,that I will never even try to use it again.After I got to know the actual meaning,you can guess how much I must have laughed!

But to be honest,I didn't use the word even once till I was 14,and that only happened after a girl in my school used it on me.She said "fuck off!" very smoothly and blankly on my face.I was stunned.I hated her for saying that to me.But nonethless,I used the word sometimes.

Then came what I called "The Bitch Age".Almost everybody used that word.But I didn't.Because I was told only dirty girls,who had boyfriends used it.(damn!I was funny!)So,all my early teens went on and I learnt two swear words in english.."fuck" and "bitch".

In Hyderabad,the place where I live,I learnt many new swears.You have an abundance of swear words that you probably haven't even heard."Maakikirkiri" is the most famous one out here.There are many other,but I might be judged at if I used them here.They mean really bad!hehe.They are super funny anyway!I laugh everytime I hear them.Our college bus driver uses them on every other vehicle driver on the road.I haven't heard anybody use them like he does!Typical Hyderbadi swear words.Everywhere I go someone or the other uses them.Even I do,but mine are a mixture of hindi,hyderabadi hindi and english.

Sometimes I am happy I know so many swear words,because I can get really abusive when I am pissed,and these words come very handy.I come up with new, self-invented,innovative abuses,just for the person who was the reason behind my annoyance.I can keep absuing and swearing all day.I feel so good when I abuse and let out all the frustration.It feels as if you have been holding a whole lot of junk in your tummy and have finally puked!

Living and Not Reading?! Pity..

Sometimes I wonder how it would be if there was a school where you didn't have to study for tests,internals,externals,vivas,to impress professors,tutors,your crushes..(phew!).Well that would be like a dream come true for me.I hate exams!Iam sure nobody likes them,leaving a few hard core nerds.But as a contrary,I can't imagine my life without books and reading.Iam not talking exclusively about subject books,but other kind of books.Books which contain fiction,non-fiction,drama,comedy,tragedy,biographies,autobiographies,fantasy,philosophy,and so on.

I love to read.And I can read a LOT!I have been fascinated by story books and fairy tales ever since I was a toddler, I was told.As a school kid,I used to badger my parents to buy me all sorts of books.Everywhere I went,I would only search for interesting books that I could read.I would read in the car,in the school bus,in the classroom,and every other corner where I could possibly find a comfortable place to sit and an just read.Library period in school used to be my favourite back then.When I was around ten years old,I started getting bored of Enid Blyton and other fairy tales.I started reading R.L.Stine's Goosebumps.Everybody in my class would fret his books,saying that his stories were scary.I found them amusing an fun to read.A few years later,in my early teens, I started reading R.L.Stine's Fear Street,then Franscine Pascal's Sweet Valley Junior,High and University.How much I enjoyed them!Sometimes I would ignore homework and continue reading these books.Not that my teachers wouldn't shout at me..they used to give me impositions!

I remember how much everybody was crazy about Harry Potter when I was in my 7th grade.I had always wanted to read them,but never got a chance to then.Later,in my 8th grade,my mother's friend lent me the first four books of Harry Potter.I read all of them in ten days.I was literally glued to them.I loved the books so much that I would wake up early in the mornings sometimes and read.This was when I started developing short sight.My mom had to shut the book in my hand and turn of the lights to tell me to bed.I would imagine myself as Harry Potter,or some other character from the book.I would sit and wish that Hogwarts existed,and that someone like Hagrid come and take me there.Post Harry Potter,I started reading Sydney Sheldon,and then James Hadley Chase,John Grisham,Robin Cook,Jeffrey Archer,and these days I am reading Paulo Coelho,Khaled Hosseini,Erich Segal and other such authors and many autobiographies,and how-to-live-life kind of inspiring books.

Yesterday,my friend asked me to send her an e-book of my choice(she doesn't read much).I did,and when I asked her today if she had started reading it,she told me that she had read just one page since yesterday!One page only.I wasn't really surprised because not many of my friends read.Some don't even bother to know what books are all about.I know different people have different interests,opinions and tastes and I don't have anythin against the non-readers.I agree with them too.But I pity people who don't read.I feel they are missing somethimg very deviceful and prolific in their lives.I mean how can people not read something beyond the first page.I don't know how they wouldn't want to know what the second page contains.Some don't even try to read.It remains a mystery to me,me being a total book worm which I presume you must have already concluded reading so much of my blog(if you have come this far into reading it;))Books can change you,atleast they have changed me.Made me a better person,given me a lot of knowledge about things I was absolutely unaware of.They brought a complete change in the way I percieved things,civilized my english speaking skills to a large extent,and have kept me entertained to date.I might be sounding very pre-determined and judgemental,but no I don't intend to sound like that.Maybe its just my love for reading and pity for thse who don't;)